Nightmare
by UnheardSalvation
Summary: A sweet dream and a nightmare, 2 different realm existing in the same space. Your dreams show you something true, but how many of us can truly understand what our dreams meant? Slight Yullen ( me not major in romance so... Yeah...)
1. Prologue

**Nightmare**

"Hey, Mana, is it true that we are going to board that ship?" a silver-haired boy shouted to his adoptive father while pointing at the cruise in front of them.

Mana just smiled sadly at him. Somehow, the silver-haired boy had a feeling something really, really bad is going to happen. Deciding to ignore his premonition, the silver-haired boy ran towards the cruise to get a closer look at the cruise.

"Look, Mana! It's so pretty!" he turned around, expecting to see his father there.

As soon as he turned around, the crowd disappear. Everything faded away into thin air. All, except the ocean. The boy felt his breath hitched. _What happened? Where's Mana? _He turned back to the cruise, but all he could see was the ocean. He looked down and saw the land he stood was nothing but a small piece of land. With that size of the land, he could only stand there. Anymore movement and he'll fall into he ocean. He was afraid. What was happening to him? He was with Mana, and the next second, he was all alone in God-knows-where.

"...Mana?" he whispered softly.

_Silence._

"Mana? Where are you, Mana?" he tried again. This time, shouting as loud as he could.

"...Allen"

Said boy turned around as he heard his name. He was then greeted by a horrifying scene.

The once blue ocean, was no longer blue. It turned into crimson red. It sickly resemble the color of human blood. Heck, it even smell like blood!

"...Allen" that voice again. Allen looked around but he saw nothing.

Wait. Pause. Rewind.

Something was floating on the ocean.

_What could it be? _Allen squinted his eyes to see what was that "something" he saw.

A terrible mistake.

A scream could be heard seconds later. Allen broken down and fell down as his leg failed to support his weight. He could not accept what he just see. _No... This is not happening to me. _

At the same time, the dead body of Kanda Yuu and Mana Walker could be seen floating on the ocean not far away from Allen.

_This is all an illusion! Must be it! I'll call Kanda amd Mana now. Yep, they will answer my call!_

Allen quickly dialed Kanda's number using his cellphone and pressed the "call" button.

_Beep beep._

_Beep beep._

_Beep. beep._

_RING!_

Allen's eye widen as he heard that ringing sound. _No way..._He slowly turned his head toward the source of the sound and saw the dead body of Kanda holding a cellphone that was ringing. _No, please, no. _He begged inwardly.

_Sorry, the number you've dialed-_

He ended the call.

He quickly dialed Mana's number.

Oh, how God hate him.

The same thing happened.

* * *

_Why?_

_Why must all his love ones die?_

**Because you don't deserve them.**

Allen quickly covered his ears. "No more..." Tears flowed out from his eyes.

**They die because you were too close to them.**

"Stop this..."he mumbled sadly.

**It is all your fault that they die.**

* * *

Allen woke up. He breathed heavily, trying to calm himself down.

_What...was that?_

He brought his legs near his face and rested his head in between his legs.

He cried.

"Was the dream trying to tell me not to get near Kanda?" he asked himself.

He was planning to confessed his feelings after he woke up. It was not an easy decision. He convinced himself so many times and finally decided to confess to his crush on the next morning. He really hoped that his crush will return his feelings and they will be happy together.

But after this nightmare, he changed his mind.

If he will bring harm to Kanda after confessing, he might as well not confessed. Who knows, it might be one-sided.

He started to wonder if he was a cursed child. His real parents abandon him when he was just an infant. He grew up in an orphanage. No one like him. He never know why. Until the day the children chase him out of the orphanage. It was then he learned about he disgusted everyone was with his left arm. His life was harsh since then. Later on, he met Mana, a good man who took care of him like his own son. Those time when he was with Mana was the happiest time in his lifetime.

But happy times ended so fast. Too fast, in his opinion.

Mana died in a car crash when he was 8. And then, he was stucked with his current guardian, Cross Marian.

His current guardian was...not the best example of human kind. But he was thankful to that fact. At least, he won't love Cross like how he loved Mana. At least, Cross won't die because of him one day. And for that, he was really thankful. Even though Cross treated him like shit, he was grateful that the man took him in.

He smiled bitterly as he stared at the rising sun.

"...It's time to get up, huh?" he told himself as he slowly got up from the bed and headed toward the washroom.

**TBC (?)**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NIGHTMARE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**Okay! Done! This story is erm... somehow related to my dream. I once dreamed the same dream Allen had in this story, and I was like, "What the heck?". I admit, it was pretty scary...(Duh, of course it is! Witness the death of your love ones are the worst!) erm...should I continue this story? or just leave it like this? R&R please~! Do tel me if you want me to continue this~!**


	2. Chapter 1 - Meeting Kanda Yuu

_**Thank you so much for AntagonizingExorcist for favourite and following this story~~! It made me so happy~~~~ (Even though I didn't get even one review...) *Emoing in the corner* Guess, I'm not good enough? **_

_**Disclamer (OMG, I ACTUALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS STUFF LAST EPISODE!) : I don't own -Man. **_

_**Anyway, last time on "Nightmare" :**_

**"...It's time to get up, huh?" he told himself as he slowly got up from the bed and headed toward the washroom.**

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Meeting Kanda Yuu**

Allen Walker adjusted his school uniform while standing in front of the mirror. He wore a black wig to hide his white hair and bandaged his left arm. _Why do I have white hair and a burned left arm anyway? _He asked himself. He then proceeded to wear his black contact lens to hide his gray eyes. _Okay, all set. Now, what's the time-_

His thoughts were then interrupted by the sound of people praying outside his apartment. Living in Malaysia gave him a big benefit, which is, knowing the time without glancing at his watch. _The prayers start at 6.45am every morning...I still have time for breakfast, i guess... _He said to himself and headed to the stalls near his apartment for breakfast.

~~TIME_SKIP~~

"Hey, did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"We are getting a transfer school student! I heard that he's from Japan."

"For real? Man, I wish I learned Japanese..."

Allen sat on his seat while glancing out of his the while listening to the conversation that was going on just beside him. Allen never understand why his classmate like to start a conversation near him. Probably because he sat at the back of the class, he told himself.

_Slam!_

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the source of the slamming noise. There, at the door, stood a Japanese male with his hair tied up in a high pony tail. He glared at everyone before walking towards an empty seat and sat down. Allen raised his head and saw the Japanese male sitting in front of him. _Damn my height! How can I see the blackboard with him sitting in front of me?! _He inwardly cursed.

"Is he the transfer school student?" students started to chat among themselves.

"I guess he is... But boys aren't allowed to have long hair, right?" (1)

"Is he really the same age as us? I mean, he's really tall! Is he really 16?"

"I think so...Oh, here comes the teacher!"

Everyone went back to their own seat and greeted the teacher before sitting down.

"Everyone, I believe you have seen our new student over there," the teacher said to the class while pointing at the Japanese male with her thumb. "His name is Kanda Yuu. Now, Kanda Yuu, will you stand up and introduce yourself?" the teacher said as she gave Kanda a heart-warming smile.

"Tch." that was the only sound that Kanda made.

"...Okay, lets skip that 'introducing yourself' part... Students, any question you wish to ask our new student?" the teacher asked the class.

Allen then raised his hand up, earning the teacher's attention.

"Yes, Allen? What do you want to ask?"

"I wish that he change his place because I can't see the blackboard with him in front of me." Allen stated.

Kanda turned around and face Allen with a smirk on his face, "Not gonna happen, moyashi. Grow taller yourself."

That was when Allen saw Kanda's face for the first time (he wasn't paying attention when Kanda walked into the class).

And it was that time Allen realised that he...he...

The truth hit him hard like a rock.

He, someone who looked like a circus freak, fell for a super hot Japanese guy named Kanda Yuu.

_Oh God, the world is going to end..._ he thought.

* * *

_**A/N : I guess this is pretty obvious, this chapter shows how Allen met and fell for Kanda. You guys will probably think "Why Malaysia?" Well, 'cause its an awesome country! (I live there too~) There's a lot of fun stuff you can find in Malaysia. For example, our funny school uniform. Girls wear pinafore that looks like a blue apron with a white school T-shirt inside. Hair ties can only be in black or white. No cellphone allowed!(but it seems like we can start bringing them to school in 2013. yay~~) No make-up! No electric gadget! As for boys, they wear long dark green pants and a white school T-shirt. They look just like "ketupat"(a kind of malay food) from far away... Hair must not touch the collar of the uniform. No using gel for hair etc. Wanna learn more about Malaysia? watch "Only In Malaysia" by "Jinnyboy" in youtube. You might find our accent funny though...**_

_**(1)Yes, in Malaysia, males that are still studying are not allowed to have long hair, unless you have special permission but that is nearly impossible. **_

_**Okay, I guess this is all~ R&R please~~**_


	3. Chapter 2 - Isn't It Just A Dream?

_**OMG! SO MANY PEOPLE FOLLOW MY FAVOURITE THIS STORY! I'M SOOOO HAPPY~~~~~~~~! I LOVE YOU ALL, MY DEAR READERS~~~~~~~!**_

_**Thank you so much,**_

**Lavi-Usagi**

**anakarockerster**

_**for following and favourite this story~**_

_**And also,**_

**nephilm101**

**Neko's Revenge**

_**for following this story~~**_

_**Disclamer : I don't own -Man**_

* * *

_**Last time :**_

_**He, someone who looked like a circus freak, fell for a super hot Japanese guy named Kanda Yuu.**_

**Oh God, the world is going to end...**_** he thought.**_

* * *

**Chapter 2 - Isn't It Just A Dream?**

It have been weeks since Allen last dreamt that horrifying dream. Since then, he avoided the Japanese teen at all cost, fearing that he might attract danger to his crush if he stayed too close to him. Sometimes, he even woke up in the middle of the night and cried silently as he remembered the dream. It didn't take long until the bags under his eyes become so visible that he needed make up to cover up his "panda eyes".

"Allen, what is wrong with you lately?"

Said teen raised his head and saw his only close friend, Neah, talked to him. Worry was all written on Neah's face as he asked Allen. Neah Walker was the only one that Allen trusted in the school. Neah was the only one that Allen kept no secrets from. Why wasn't he that close to the other students? _Maybe because we happened to have the same surname? _He told himself.

"Hello? Earth to Allen Walker!"

Allen snapped from his thought and turned to Neah once more.

"...Nothing..." he muttered softly. He couldn't tell his best friend about what actually happen. His best friend might just laugh at him and make fun of him later! _But Neah never laugh or made fun of me... Maybe I can tell him?_ He inwardly ask himself.

"Nothing? Something is definitely wrong! Are you keeping something from me, young man?" Neah said to Allen while giving him the I-don't-believe-you look.

_He won't laugh at me right? He will help me get through this right?_

Allen breathed in a deep breath and started telling Neah about his dreams.

* * *

"...That's all?"

Allen nodded and stared at the floor as if it was the most interesting stuff in the universe.

"Okay, let me get this straight. You-" Neah pointed at Allen, "-had a crush on that super hot Japanese samurai and you wanted to confess to him. However, you dreamt of this dream and you decided not to confess?" he continued.

Once again, Allen nodded.

Neah gave out a sigh, "You really are hopeless!" he said to Allen. "Listen to me, young man. It was all a dream. It was a freaking _dream_! It won't happen in real-life! You are in the real world, not in those world of fantasy that we can find in any novel! All you have to do now, is to get enough rest! Don't think too much! I'll help you think of a way to confess to that Japanese samurai tomorrow. Now, go back to your apartment and sleep!"

"But how about school-"

_RING!_

Neah stared at the bell a while, and turned to Allen, "There you have it, the bell. They won't say that you skipped school since you go home when school ends." Allen just nodded and packed his things. _I'm kinda glad I told Neah. I feel better now. _Allen thought while drawing out a beautiful smile on his face. _Okay, I'll take Neah's advise and rest for today! _He then walked back to his apartment. _Everything's alright. I worried too much. Geez, silly me. _He inwardly lectured himself. _I should have thought of this before. How can I dream come true? Haha!_ He thought as he skipped happily back to his apartment. _Everything will be alright. _He told himself.

Oh, how wrong he was.

* * *

"Hey, Allen. Can you pass me the bag over there?"

Allen opened his eyes and found himself helping out in the festival.

_Since when I come to the festival? Ugh, damn my bad memories. I must have helped out in the festival after resting at my apartment._ He told himself as he passed his friend the bag that was just beside him.

"Thank you, Allen. Say, do you know who left his cellphone here?" His friend said to him and pointed at a cellphone on the booth. Allen stared at the cellphone and recognize it as Neah's cellphone.

"It's Neah's. I'll pass it to him." Allen said as he kept the cellphone into his pocket.

"I think I saw him there about a minute earlier. Why don't you chase after him and hand him his cellphone? We are closing down the booth anyway." His friend said to him while pointing at the exit.

"Okay. Thanks, guys. Bye!" Allen said as he ran towards the exit, chasing after Neah.

"Neah! Neah! Wait up!" he shouted.

After a while, Allen saw Neah turning into a corner and shouted to him once more. However, Neah did not stop nor answer his shouting. _Is he ignoring me? _Allen thought as he glared at Neah. He never like it when people intend to ignore him. Don't people know that ignoring people is really rude?

"NEAH WALKER, YOU BETTER STOP IGNORING ME!" He shouted and ran faster, trying to catch up to his friend.

He was so caught up in chasing after his friend that he didn't realize the road was getting dimmer and dimmer. And soon, the road was so dark that Allen had to stop and look around to find his friend. It didn't help that his friend has pure black hair. _Geez, guess I can only return him his cellphone in school tomorrow..." _Allen thought as he turned around, wanting to walk back to the festival.

He turned around and what he saw was...

_._

_._

_Pitch black._

_._

_._

He couldn't see anything. Everything was black. He reached his hand out trying to "touch" his way back. However, he couldn't feel anything at his fingertip. He could feel moving them, but he couldn't see nor touch anything near him. _Did the post lamp spoil again? Damn it. It's so dark..._He took out a mini torch that he kept in his pocket. Just for when things like this happen. He turned the lights on, but he still couldn't see anything. The light just traveled straight, as if there were nothing blocking its path. It just travel so far away...

_Great, where am I? Why can't I find my way out?_

Allen was so frustrated that he gripped on his torch so tightly.

_._

_._

_Bzz...bzz...BBBBZZZZZ!_

_._

Static noises could be heard from all direction.

.

_Bzzzz! ...Reporting from Selangor...Bzzzz...found dead...Bzzz..._

_._

Then silence overcome the noises.

Light shone brightly from Allen's back. He turned around and saw a screen in front of him, reporting some news.

_Click._

Front, back, left, right.

A screen appears in all those four direction. All reporting news in different language. It seems to report the same news.

"...Shi zhe zai an fa xian chang fa xian shi wang. Jing fang wu fa cha chu zhen que shi yin..."

"...Mangsa kejadian didapati mati di tempat kejadian. Pihak polis tidak dapat mencari punca kematian..."

"...The victim was found dead at the crime scene. The police couldn't find out how the victim died..."

.

It all said the same thing. Someone died.

But who?

The man in the screen was dead in a twisted way.

His arms were in an awkward angle, his head was split into half and the face was hard to recognize.

_Ouch..._Allen said to himself as he saw the condition the victim was in.

Whoever that was, Allen felt pity for him. His family member will feel sad for him.

.

"...Shi zhe de shen fen yi que bei jia ren que ren. Shi zhe shi 16 sui de yi ming zhong xue shen, ming jiao lei ya fu jia, jiu du zai su bang de yi jian zhong xue..."

"...Identiti mangsa kejadian telah dipastikan oleh ahli keluarganya. Mangsa kejadian merupakan seorang pelajar berumur 16 tahun, namanya Neah Walker, yang belajar di sebuah sekolah menengah kebangsaan di Subang Jaya..."

"The victim's identity was confirmed by his family members. The victim is a 16 years old student, Neah Walker, who studied in a secondary school in Subang Jaya..."

.

.

.

_Say what?_

_Neah?_

_But...but..._

_Why did he die?_

**You were too close to him.**

_That voice again! Ignore it, Allen. Ignore it._

**Have you forgotten? You killed him with your ow hands. You were the one who killed him. **

_Ignore it, Allen. Ignore it._

Tears flowing down his cheeks.

**You killed them because you don't deserve them. **

* * *

Allen woke up screaming. His eyes widen in fear.

_No...no...Neah's still alive...It's just a dream..._

He convinced himself and tried to go back to sleep.

But those images of Neah's dead body kept on repeating in his mind. It bothered him. A lot.

_He's alive...he's alive...he's-_

He managed to cried himself to sleep.

.

*~TIME_SKIP~*

.

"Hey, did you hear?"

"That incident about Neah Walker? Yep. It's really creepy..."

.

_No way._

_Wasn't it just a nasty dream?_

_._

"Allen, you okay? I know, Neah's death affect you a lot, but don't go scaring the others out with your horrified face!"

_He's not dead...he's not dead..._

"Allen, seriously, cheer up. Maybe he's happy up there."

_He's not dead...he's not dead..._

Allen felt someone patting his shoulder as he turned his head to see who patted him.

"He's dead, Allen. Stop grieving like this! Get a grip like a man!"

He felt his world crashed down.

_Those dreams will turn into reality after all!_

_I have to get away from Kanda. _

_I already lost Neah, I'm not risking Kanda's life!_

_._

_._

_Dreams are a magical space._

_It can take you to your paradise, or hell, or even both._

_You can feel pain in your dreams, _

_It can be so painful that you couldn't bear it_

_But you will still live when you wake up._

_Dreams are a secret space that will goes out of your control even though you are the creator of the dream,_

_Therefore, it was said that when you can control your dreams, _

_You can get what you want in there._

_._

_._

_**TBC**_

* * *

_**A/N : Yosh! Thank you so much for reading this chapter. I hope you like this chapter~! And again, the dream in this chapter was what I dreamt before (except the part where Allen saw screens. That was my dad's dream =.= weird dream. He said he saw war in those screens...) the last paragraph was my defination of dreams...Kinda weird, right? **_

_**I guess this is all~ R&R please~~**_

_**P.s. You guys are the best, my story followers ^^ love you guys so much~~ **_


	4. Chapter 3 - Schools In Malaysia

_**Here you go~ A new chapter~ this chapter will be in Kanda's POV~**_

_**Thank you soooooooo much for the reviews~~~~**_

_**Antagonizing Exorcist**_

_**Lavi-Usagi : glad you enjoy this story~~**_

_**And also, XxRosebudxX, for following and favourite this story~~~**_

_**Now, let the story begins, shall we?**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Short summary : Allen dreamt a nightmare about seeing his loves one died. He told Neah about his dream. He then dream that Neah died on that night. When he went school the second day, Neah really died...**_

_**Last time :**_

_**"He's dead, Allen. Stop grieving like this! Get a grip like a man!"**_

_**He felt his world crashed down.**_

_**.**_

* * *

.

_**Chapter 3 - Schools In Malaysia**_

.

Kanda Yuu stood in front of his new school as he glared daggers at the front gate.

He was not happy.

At all.

Will you be happy if your father, adoptive or not, signed you up for a school without asking for your opinion?

Of course not.

The worst part, he was fucking transferred into a _Malay_ school.

He was not being racist.

He just heard that Malay schools never sell Soba noodles.

Who told him, you ask? A certain baka usagi which just _so happen_ **will** be studying in the same fucking school as him.

_Dear fate, you better stop messing with my life or you'll regret it! _He inwardly scolded.

He sighed and looked at the front gate once more.

_It's hell time. _He told himself as he stepped inside the hell, or so he named it.

.

* * *

.

Schools in Malaysia.

Only one word can describe them :

_Weird._

No one realize that you're a new student until you speak to them. (1)

They just continue what they were doing even when you walked pass them.

Unless, you are super good-looking.

But, all they will do is...

...stare and gossip about you.

Most students leave the new students alone until they think that new student is not a new student anymore.

Sometimes, it takes weeks just to make everyone comfortable with a new student in class.

Only some really brave ones will talk to the new student.

However, among ten students, only one or two are the really brave ones.

_._

_No one dare to talk to me? _Kanda asked himself in disbelieve.

Usually, people will start asking him question when he first stepped into the school compound. All thanks to his looks.

However, students in his new school just stared at him, and then whispered about something to their friends.

No.

Kanda Yuu was NOT complaining.

Certainly not.

He was just glad that no one annoyed him in his new school.

_Okay, now. Where's my fucking class? 4-S...4-S...where the fuck is it?_

.

*~*TEN MINUTES LATER*~*

.

_Ha! Found it! _He said to himself as he pushed the door open, in a rude way, may I add.

_Slam!_

...

Maybe..."slammed the door open" was the better choice...

Okay, back to the story...

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the source of the slamming noise. Kanda glared at everyone before walking towards an empty seat and sat down.

"Is he the transfer school student?" students started to chat among themselves.

"I guess he is... But boys aren't allowed to have long hair, right?"

.

_Boys aren't allowed to have long hair huh? Screw that rule._

_._

"Is he really the same age as us? I mean, he's really tall! Is he really 16?"

.

_My height is normal. Everyone here are just abnormally short._

_._

"I think so...Oh, here comes the teacher!"

Everyone went back to their own seat and greeted the teacher before sitting down.

"Everyone, I believe you have seen our new student over there," the teacher said to the class while pointing at the Japanese male with her thumb. "His name is Kanda Yuu. Now, Kanda Yuu, will you stand up and introduce yourself?" the teacher said as she gave Kanda a heart-warming smile.

"Tch."

"...Okay, lets skip that 'introducing yourself' part... Students, any question you wish to ask our new student?" the teacher asked the class. "Yes, Allen? What do you want to ask?"

Great.

Just great.

He thought he could run away from people's question in his new school, seeing at how students in Malaysia acted when they see a new student.

_He better not ask if I'm a female. I swear, if he ask me that, I will personally murder him. _Dark aura formed on top of Kanda's head.

"I wish that he change his place because I can't see the blackboard with him in front of me." the boy behind him, Allen, or whoever he was, stated.

_Change my place? No fucking way._

He turned around and faced the speaking teen.

_...This kid...Something's wrong with him._ He said to himself.

"Not gonna happen, moyashi. Grow taller yourself." He said as he smirked at the teen.

The brown-haired teen glared at him, "My name is Allen Walker, not "moyashi"." he said.

"I'll call you what I want. This," he pointed at his mouth, "is my mouth. I can call you anything I want. You can't stop me, _moyashi._"

His smirked widen as he watched Allen's face slowly turned red from anger.

_He's pretty cute._

Wait, what?

No.

He did NOT just think that kid is cute.

He's a guy, dammit!

He's Kanda Yuu for fuck sake.

However, he couldn't stop thinking about that _moyashi_.

No matter how hard he tried, his brain kept on showing him the picture of that moyashi.

_Tch._

_This all is so fucked up..._

_._

_**TBC**_

* * *

**A/N : I'm so sorry. I don't really curse in real-life, unless I'm really piss off. So... Sorry if I use those curse in the wrong way! . **

**(1) at least that was what happen when a new student appears in my school... not sure how students in other school reacts...**

**okay~ this is all, i guess~ R&R please~~**


	5. Chapter 4 - Confusing Memories

_**Thank you soooooo much, **_**Lavi-Usagi, ****_for reviewing again~~~~ ^^_**

**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Last time :**_

_**He did NOT just think that kid is cute.**_

_**He's a guy, dammit!**_

_**He's Kanda Yuu for fuck sake.**_

_**However, he couldn't stop thinking about that moyashi.**_

_**No matter how hard he tried, his brain kept on showing him the picture of that moyashi.**_

**Tch.**

**This all is so fucked up...**

**.**

* * *

**.**

**_Chapter 4 - Confusing Memories_**

.

White.

Everywhere was white.

_Is this how a proper funeral looks like?_

Allen thought as he stared at his best friend's photo at the table.

Everyone was grieving for Neah.

.

_**"...Shi zhe de shen fen yi bei jia ren que ren. Shi zhe shi 16 sui de yi ming zhong xue shen, ming jiao lei ya fu jia, jiu du zai su bang de yi jian zhong xue..."**_

_**"...Identiti mangsa kejadian telah dipastikan oleh ahli keluarganya. Mangsa kejadian merupakan seorang pelajar berumur 16 tahun, namanya Neah Walker, yang belajar di sebuah sekolah menengah kebangsaan di Subang Jaya..."**_

_**"The victim's identity was confirmed by his family members. The victim is a 16 years old student, Neah Walker, who studied in a secondary school in Subang Jaya..."**_

_**.**_

That was the exact news that came out on television the second day.

Was God trying to tell him something through his dream?

Was God trying to tell him that...

He was nothing but a broken specimen made by God?

A broken specimen that doesn't deserved being loved?

Allen bit his bottom lips hard,

"Neah...I'm...sorry..." He said as he bowed down before Neah's corpse.

_Please forgive me, Neah..._

He didn't know why Neah died.

But somehow his sixth sense told him that he had something to do with Neah's death.

.

* * *

.

"Okay, students. That's all for today."

Classes went on as usual.

To be exact, everyday went on as usual.

But it was different for our silvered-hair teen.

Everything looked different without Neah.

The school looked like a new place to Allen. As if he never been there before.

"Haha! Gotca!"

Allen's eye widen as he turned around, trying to find his supposedly dead best friend.

But he was wrong.

It was someone else talking to other students.

His once lively eyes turned dull, just like a piece of glass, reflecting everything he see.

Emotions were absent in his eyes.

His eyes followed the other students, staring at them in jealousy.

_Why can't I have friends without worrying for their safety?_

_Look at them!_

_They look so happy with each other. Laughing, talking, teasing each other..._

Allen's eyes soften as he caught sight of his crush.

_..._

_At least he's safe there._

_Who cares if he doesn't know about my feelings?_

_As long as he's safe..._

Allen told himself, trying to convince himself that he made the right choice.

He smiled a bitter smile at Kanda when Kanda wasn't looking before turning around and walked back to his classroom.

_It's okay._

_His safety comes first._

Little did he know, Kanda saw everything he did.

_._

* * *

.

"Allen is...kinda creepy these days..."

"You realize too? He changed a lot since that Neah guy died."

"Agree. Ever since that day, he look gloomier and gloomier each day."

"But he should feel happy."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you know? They said that..." he looked around before whispered to his friends.

"...He killed Neah Walker himself."

.

"Did you hear? Allen Walker is crazy!"

_._

_What are they talking about?_

_._

"What makes you say that?"

"Remember that Neah Walker? Allen is the one who killed him!"

_._

_What? But, I never-_

_._

"Weren't they best friends? Why would he do that?"

"He's crazy I tell you. Get away from him!"

_._

_What's happening?_

_._

"He's murderer."

"I can't believe he killed his own best friend..."

"Murderer."

"Liar."

"Who knows, he might be a psycho killer!"

.

_I'm not... Stop this._

_._

"Killer!"

.

_**"Allen! What are you doing- AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!"**_

_._

Visions of Neah's dead body flashed before his eyes.

He remembered hearing those words from Neah.

Those words that asked him what was he doing...

He remembered witnessing Neah's death.

Was he there when it happen?

He saw the killer killing Neah, all the while laughing like a sick sadist.

He was there?

Why didn't he stopped the killer?

What happened back then?

_**"He deserve this."**_

He remembered someone saying that sentence. But who?

.

Before Allen could make out anything in his mind, he blacked out.

.

_**TBC**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**A/N : Hahahahaha! It's 3.30am and I'm still awake! NOW I SHALL CONQUER THE WORLD! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!(random madness kicked into my mind. Ignore it.) Have you guys tried "Alice : Madness Return"? ITS AWESOME!**_

_**R&R please~~~**_


	6. Chapter 5 - How Much Do You Know, Lavi?

_**I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOOOOO MUCH!**_

**Antagonizing Exorcist,**

**Lavi-Usagi**

**_YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOOO AWESOME! THANKS A LOT FOR THE REVIEW~~~~~~~~ X3_**

**_And also, _****Rinaru Yukimaru and shely12 for****_ following this story~~~~^^_**

**_Disclaimer : I don't own -Man_**

**_._**

* * *

**_._**

**_Last time :_**

_**He remembered hearing those words from Neah.**_

_**He remembered witnessing Neah's death.**_

_**Was he there when it happen?**_

_**Why didn't he stopped the killer?**_

_**What happened back then?**_

**"He deserve this."**

_**He remembered someone saying that sentence. But who?**_

_**.**_

_**Before Allen could make out anything in his mind, he blacked out.**_

**.**

* * *

.

_**Chapter 5 - How Much Do You Know, Lavi?  
**_

He saw Allen turned around, trying to find something.

As soon as he turned around, his eyes turned dull as he stared at the other students in jealousy.

_Why is he jealous?_

Kanda quickly stared at something else when he saw Allen's eye on him.

_He didn't see me, right? ...Tch, why should I care?_

He took a small glance at Allen at the side of his eyes and saw Allen smilled a bitter smile at him.

He swore he felt a pang of pain in his chest when he saw that smile.

It made the boy looked so...

_Broken._

_._

"Allen is...kinda creepy these days..."

_Oh, shut up._

"You realize too? He changed a lot since that Neah guy died."

_I said, shut up._

"Agree. Ever since that day, he look gloomier and gloomier each day."

.

Kanda Yuu stood up from his place and tried to get away from the talking students. _Moyashi is already feeling sad about his best friend's death, why couldn't these students just shut the fuck up?_ He was beyond pissed. He couldn't stand other people bad mouthing about _his _moyashi.

Wait...What!?

_Since when moyashi is mine!?_

Just when Kanda was having an inner battle in his mind, he heard something shocking.

.

"...He killed Neah Walker himself."

Kanda's eye widen at the statement.

_Moyashi...Killed his own best friend?_

_._

"Did you hear? Allen Walker is crazy!"

"He's murderer."

"I can't believe he killed his own best friend..."

"Murderer."

"Liar."

"Who knows, he might be a psycho killer!"

.

Rumours spread like wild-fire.

_Those are just rumours, why are everyone believing it? Moyashi is too innocent to kill anyone._

But, why was he losing faith in his own theory every time he heard those rumours?

Why wasn't he believing Walker?

_Why is he feeling hurt when he learnt about Walker being accused for killing people?_

.

* * *

.

"Hey, Yuu, guess what? I met this chick just now. Man, she's really hot! Want me to introduce her to you? Come on, you really need to get laid. Hey? Yuu? HELLO~~?"

Lavi Bookman waved his hand in front of his friend, trying to earn his friend's attention.

_No respond._

"YUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

He shouted as loud as he could beside his friend's ear, trying to snap his friend out of day dreamming mood, or so he named it.

Kanda snapped out from his thoughts as he glared at Lavi.

"What? AND WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CALLING ME BY MY FIRST NAME?!" Kanda shouted, scaring the students near him.

"..." Lavi remained silence as he observed his friend. _Something's going on in his mind. He rarely day dream..._

"...What happened?" he asked Kanda.

"What what?"

"What was in your mind just now? You looked like you just survived from the end of the world."

Kanda remained silence.

_What happened? I really want to know what the fuck is going on now!_

"Is about the kid, isn't it?"

.

* * *

.

Lavi Bookman, a very observent student. His photographic memories makes him the smartest student in his class even though he just joined the class about three weeks ago. He could tell what is going on in your mind just by a glance. He knew Kanda when they were both 9. In short, he knew everything about Kanda.

Nope.

He was not a stalker.

He learned about Kanda through Kanda's adoptive father, Froi Tiedoll.

That man was so happy when he knew that his Yuu-kun finally has a friend.

And how did he ended up in Japan when he's an American?

He and his grandpa moved to Japan after his parent died in a car accident. That car accident cost him his right eye. He wore an eye patch to hide his missing eye since then.

.

* * *

.

Kanda stiffen as his brain registered those word.

_How..._

Lavi remained silence as he stared at Kanda.

"That kid is full of mystery, Kanda. Don't get too near him."

_..._

_Even that baka usagi said so.  
_

_Is moyashi really ... a killer?  
_

Kanda swallowed hard.

He somehow felt disappointed with Walker.

.

* * *

.

"Look, the murderer is having a nap here."

"Is he sick?"

"Serve him right. He's a killer."

"He really should just go and die."

.

Kanda turned his head toward the source of the noise and saw a big group of students surrounding something on the floor.

Out of curiosity, Kanda walked closer to get a better look.

There lied Allen Walker, breathing heavily on the ground. His face was all flushed.

He tried to help him but Lavi stopped him.

"Mark my words, Yuu. Don't go near him."

"But he-"

"Let's go, Yuu." Lavi said as he dragged Kanda away from the group all the while staring at the floor.

Kanda couldn't understand what happened.

Lavi was always the one who wanted to save people when the others are in trouble.

_So, what difference does it make now?_

Why wasn't Lavi saving that Walker kid?

Meanwhile, Lavi was feeling guilty for pulling Kanda away from that kid.

_This must be done! __Or else, Yuu will be in danger.  
_

_Kid, you understand too, don't you?  
_

_That was why you never get near Yuu.  
_

Lavi could tell that Kanda was throwing questioning glances at him, but he ignore it.

Lavi really wanted to help that kid, but not when Kanda was there!

He knew that Allen Walker had a crush on Kanda since he first saw that kid.

He realize that the kid was holding back from confessing.

He thought it was all because Allen was scared of being rejected,

But he was wrong.

It was all because of a dream.

It was all because of _that _dream.

.

He was there when Allen told Neah about that dream.

He understood what Allen was doing.

Therefore, he'll help Allen by creating a large gap between Allen and Kanda.

With the large gap existing between them, both of them can stay alive.

.

.

_**TBC**_

* * *

_**A/N : Done~~~~~~~~ Ha! Lavi Bookman make his appearance! Man, where is he in the recent chapter? Okay, I'll tell you guys this. As you all know, school starts tomorow...(GAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!) therefore, I might not update as fast as I did this holiday. So...please don't kill me if I update slow? Oh, and also, I reread my summary of this story and I kinda don't like my own summary. Erm...A little help from you guys? Anyone can help write a better summary for this story? I'm saying thanks in advance here~~~~ Arigatou neh~  
**_

_**.  
**_

_**R&R please? 83  
**_


	7. Chapter 6 - Unwanted Memories

_**Thank you guys so much for your undying support~~~~~~ **_

_**Thank you, **_**07Eve, HikoHiro ****_(Thanks for following this story too~) and _****animeobssessedfans ****_for favourite tis story~~~~~_**

**_And as well, _****Hikaru113 ****_for following this story~_**

**_Reviews :_**

**Lavi-Usagi - Thanks a lot! I'm really happy that you review on almost every chapter~**

**Antagonizing Exorcist - Your summary is really good~! Thanks for the help~ :)**

**Guest - Glad to know that you are interested in Malaysia. As for other resources...I'm not very sure myself (Sorry about that) However, most of Jinnyboy's video contain Malaysian daily life information. You can check out his other videos.**

**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man  
**

**.**

* * *

**.**

**_Chapter 6 - Unwanted Memories  
_**

"Where do you think you are going, you idiotic grandson of mine?" An old man said as his eyes scanned through the book in his hand. The eye bags under his eyes were so visible that he could be mistaken as a panda anytime. He was known as the most knowledgable man in the neighbourhood. No one knew what his given name was, therefore, everyone just called him by his surname, Bookman.

Right behind him, Lavi Bookman, his grandson was trying to run away from studying.

Again.

"I-I'm just going to Yuu's house! He asked me for help in Physics!" He blurted out as soon as he figured that his escape plan failed miserably.

The truth was, he was tired of studying. He had studied for the past four hours for God's sake! He really need a break. Or else, he might ended up gaining those infamous "panda eyes" just like his grandfather.

No.

He will NOT ruin his handsome face just because of his studies!

He love his face as much as he treasure his life, thank you very much.

Without his face, how can he flirt with those hot chicks?

Not to mention that he can find one anytime, anywhere in his neighbourhood!

Therefore, the conclusion is : His handsome, flawless, perfect, beautiful (and the list goes on) face, or so he named it, must be protected at all cost!

Bookman glared at his grandson. Hard.

"One of Kanda Yuu's forte is Physic. Why would he asked for your help when he already mastered it?" he questioned his grandson and saw Lavi stiffen under his glance.

"Come on, gramps! Just a while, pretty please~~~? I really need a break! Or else I might end up dead due to extreme stress!" Lavi complained as he gave his grandfather his cute puppy eyes.

_Smack!_

It did not work well.

He ended up having more books to read.

Lavi sighed in defeat as he started studying again.

_Chemistry...Biology...Art...History...Man, this is so boring! _Lavi said to himself as he stared at the title of the books Bookman gave him.

His thoughts slowly went back to what he just heard in school that morning.

From a certain brown-haired teen.

_Hmp! Such a silly kid. It was just a dream and he gave up confessing to Yuu. Sigh, kids these days..._

His eyes caught something interesting.

A book with no title was on the table Bookman used just several minutes ago. The cover of the book was black and it was pretty thick. Lavi remembered that the day Bookman brought that book back, he was wearing a terrified face. He warned Lavi not to read that book, no matter what. What exactly happened back then, Lavi did not know. No matter how many times he asked Bookman, the elder would just avoid the question.

_Maybe...It's porn? _Lavi thought as he grinned.

He picked up that book and flipped it open.

Oh, how he wished he did not read it.

.

* * *

.

"Kanda, look! It's so nice up here!" Allen Walker said as he twirled around in circles.

He was on the top of a mountain with his crush. He was so happy!

Kanda Yuu remained silent as he stared at Allen's twirling figure.

Somehow, Allen felt a premonition about something.

Allen stopped twirling as he spotted the cliff.

"Wow, this looks really deep." He said to Kanda, trying to warn the other not to come any nearer.

"Say, Kanda-"

He felt a push.

He felt the wind going against his direction and the gravitational force which were pulling him down.

_Am I...falling?_

_Where's Kanda? _

_Is he safe?_

_Where is he?!_

He looked around, hoping to find the Japanese male anywhere.

And he did.

He saw Kanda up at the cliff, looking down at his falling figure.

Allen let out a breath he didn't realize he held.

Ignoring the howling of the wind beside his ears and as well the felling of falling down the cliff, he kept on telling himself,

_He's safe._

He smiled.

At least Kanda did not fall like he did.

He lectured himself in his mind.

How can he be that careless? Falling off a cliff like that...

Wait.

How did he fall?

Did he slipped?

Did he stepped on something and stumbled?

.

_**He felt a push.**_

.

Someone pushed him?

Who?

_Will they push Kanda down too?_

_Gasp, what if they-_

_._

"Die, you freak."

.

He felt his world froze.

_Did Kanda just..._

He stared at Kanda's figure with a pained expression.

Kanda's figure was becoming smaller, and smaller, and smaller from his vision.

_Thump!_

His back hit the ground hard. Blood gushing out from the newly made wounds.

Tears slowly filled up his eyes.

The wounds hurt.

A lot.

Especially the one on his heart.

.

* * *

.

"Look, the murderer is having a nap here."

"Is he sick?"

"Serve him right. He's a killer."

"He really should just go and die."

.

_Murderer? Who?_

_._

"Mark my words, Yuu. Don't go near him."

.

_"Yuu"? As in Kanda? Don't go near who?_

_._

Allen slowly opened his eyes and found himself lying on the ground.

He forced himself into a sitting position and sat there a while.

.

_**"Mark my words, Yuu. Don't go near him."**_

.

_What does that mean?_

A head-splitting pain interrupted his thoughts.

He reached his hand and place it at the side of his head, trying to make the pain go away.

That was when he realize he was having a fever.

He groaned and stood up slowly. He placed his other free hand by the wall to balance himself.

He slowly walked back to his apartment.

As soon as he reached his apartment, he collapse onto the couch and closed his eyes.

_That dream that Kanda pushed me down the cliff..._

_What was it about?_

.

* * *

.

"Allen? Didn't I tell you to rest, young man?"

"..."

"Stop being so stubborn and go rest!"

"..."

"Allen?"

Neah walked closer to his best friend, trying to see what was wrong with his best friend when Allen swung a knife towards Neah's direction.

"Allen! What are you doing-AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!"

He was stabbed in the stomach.

He looked up, sending tons of questioning glances to Allen.

"Allen, what's wrong?"

_Something is definitely wrong with Allen._

_Why is he acting so strangely?_

"Allen-"

Allen started laughing like a sick sadist.

Before Neah could dodge anything, Allen slashed his brain apart.

**"He deserve this."**

That was the last sentence he heard from Allen.

.

* * *

.

Allen woke up from his nightmare, gasping for breath.

He remembered what happened to Neah.

He remembered every detail of what happened.

Those scene where he slashed Neah's brain apart kept on replaying in his mind.

He felt like vomiting.

How could he...he...

Tears flowed down his cheeks.

He understood what his dreams were trying to tell him.

To never be able to find happiness.

He never was, and never will be loved.

He closed his eyes as he breathed in a deep breath.

_At least I was right about not confessing._

That was what he told himself before heading to the kitchen.

He stared at his own wrist a while before placing a blade on his skin.

_I wonder how long will it take to end my life._

He shut his eyes tight and brought the knife down.

_._

_My wounds cried for the grave.  
_

_My soul cries for deliverance.  
_

_Will I be denied?  
_

_Christ, tourniquet.  
_

_My suicide.  
_

_~Evanescence-Tourniquet~  
_

_._

_**TBC**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**A/N : OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! I FOUND EVANESCENCE SELF TITLED ALBUM IN MIDVALLEY TODAY! I"VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR IT FOR AGES AND TODAY I FOUND IT! WOO HOO! I'M SO GLAD I WENT SHOPPING WITH MY PARENTS~~! Q~Q **_

_**The ending part...er...just kinda feel it fit?  
**_

_**Ahahaha...maybe it don't really fit...  
**_

_**Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. **_

_**R&R please?**_


	8. Chapter 7 - What Is Happening?

_**QVQ GASP! 18 NEW MESSAGES ABOUT MY STORY!**_

_**I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOOOOOO MUCH~~~! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST~~~!  
**_

_**Thank you, **_

**mitsuyo-chan, sunshineandmoonlight, awesomeliciousness****_ and_**** WithoutWingsX, **

**_for following this story, and,_**

**PigeoDater ****_and _****Hetalian089 **

**_for favourite and following this story~~_**

**_REVIEWS :_**

**_humanoid - There you go~ A new chapter~!_**

**_PigeonDater -I'm glad you enjoy this story~ ^^ _**

**_dayanayaacob - Learn to love your own country, my friend. Malaysia is not that bad._**

**_Guest - Thanks for the compliment~~!_**

**_allenlover - Thank you so much for reviewing 3 reviews on my story~~ it made me so happy~~~ o, yep! Allen has his cursed eye/scar in this fic. But only Neah knew. Allen wear make-up to hide his scar :D_**

**_WithoutWingsX - Sure thing~ There you go~ a new chapter~~_**

**_Hetalian089 - I'm really happy that you find this fic intersting~~ ^^ _**

**_mitsuyo-chan - yep~ I agree. This IS weird...ahahaha..._**

**_Disclaimer : I don't own -Man_**

**_._**

* * *

**_._**

**_Last time :_**

_**He stared at his own wrist a while before placing a blade on his skin.**_

_**He shut his eyes tight and brought the knife down.**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 7 - What Is Happening?  
**_

**_._**

Allen hissed in pain as he felt the blade dipped into his wrist.

He saw the crimson liquid slowly flowed down his wrist, staining the floor red.

He felt dizzy, his vision blurred.

He closed his eyes, enjoying the peaceful last moment of his life before surrendered completely to the darkness.

.

* * *

.

A book fell to the ground with a loud thud.

Beside it stood Lavi Bookman with an angry yet worried expression.

He had rushed home just to find that book and read the ending.

As long as he know the ending, Kanda and the kid will be save.

Right?

He hoped so.

He really do.

He found the book and flipped it open furiously until he saw his bookmark.

_There! Found it!_

He breathed in a deep breath to calm himself before reading it.

_" They woke up. They were still alive albeit the pain they felt was still there..."_

Hope was growing inside of him. His friends can stay alive! At least they still can live...

_"They thought they found the solution to escape this fearful phenomena. However, they were wrong..."_

No way...He tighten his grip on the book as he continue reading.

_"...All the things happened to them, was actually the sign of something woke up..."_

His hands were shaking. He was afraid.

Will all these happen to his friends?

_"...Something more dangerous than anything on earth. Which is, their-"_

He was immobilize by his fear as his mind registered the remaining words.

He threw the book aside with all of his strength.

"Damn it all!" He shouted out at the top of his lungs.

.

* * *

.

Kanda was feeling uneasy.

He just dreamt a really, really weird dream.

He saw a certain brown-haired teen in his dream.

The boy was hung up in the air by tons of chains. His expression was completely blank, with that pale skin of his, he could easily passed as a death body.

Kanda slowly walked closer to the figure.

_Drip._

He heard a dripping sound.

_Drip drip._

He looked around, searching for the source of the sound.

"...anda...Kanda..." He heard the teen calling out to him.

He turned around, facing the brown-haired teen.

The teen was staring at him with tearful eyes, all the while calling out his name, as if Kanda was his only saviour.

"...Kanda..."

That was when Kanda realise, those dripping sound came from Allen's wrist.

Blood was flowing down from his wrist, to the floor.

.

_**"Mark my words, Yuu. Don't go near him."**_

.

He ignored those words.

Allen need him, he could feel it.

He didn't know why, but he could feel Allen calling out to him.

He reached his hand out for him.

He really did.

But he was too late.

Allen was swallow up by darkness before his hand could reach Allen.

Everything turned black then.

.

_What the fuck was that all about?_

"...Tch."

A weird dream.

Yes, he'll treat it as a random "weird dream".

Little did he know, the dream will be the death of him.

.

* * *

_.  
_

"Can you lend me your notes? I fell asleep in class yesterday!"

_.  
_

_Huh?_

_.  
_

"Shit! I forgot about that project!"

_._

_Why am I alive?_

_I slit my wrist.  
_

_I should be dead by now.  
_

_.  
_

Allen quickly glanced at his wrist.

The scar was there.

He DID cut himself.

Why didn't he die?

.

"Oh, look. The murderer came to school again."

"Gasp, really? Oh my, you are right! Who is he gonna kill this time?"

.

Allen didn't know how did all these rumours started.

Everyone just called him a murderer after Neah's death.

Did he killed anyone?

No! He's completely innocent! Why are the others accusing him killing someone...

Oh wait, he did.

He DID killed someone.

He killed the only person that cared for him.

He killed the one he trust the most.

He killed his one and only friend.

He killed Neah Walker.

.

But was it really him that committed that crime?

He hoped not.

_**"Allen! What are you doing-AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!"**_

Those last words he heard from Neah,

Did Neah really asked him that?

Or did his mind made that up?

Or was it was just another nightmare of his?

Or maybe...

This whole thing is a nightmare itself?

.

.

_**TBC**_

* * *

.

_**A/N : Once again, thank you guys so much for the fav and following this story~~~~~~ oh, and the reviews~~~ they are lovely~~~~**_

_**I wish you'll enjoy this chapter as well. Believe it or not, when I wanted to type this chapter, the situation was like this :  
**_

_**~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~  
**_

_***sits in front of the computer* **_

_**Okay! I'll type a new chapter today! *full of confidence*  
**_

_***Reread my story to see where I stop...* **_

_**...**_

_**..  
**_

_**.  
**_

_** #$%^&!**_

_**WHY DID I PUT ALLEN SLITTING HIS WRIST LAST CHAPTER?! GGGGAAAAAHHHH!"  
**_

_**~~~~~~ENDxXxOFxXxFLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~  
**_

_**Well, I still manage to write a new chapter. Hope I did not screw up...ahahaha...  
**_

_**Yosh! That is all for this chapter~  
**_

_**R&R~~~  
**_


	9. Chapter 8 - Who Are You Seeing In Me?

_**I think I wrote this for a million times already but...**_

_**Thank you so much for your support, my dear readers~**_

_**Even though the number of reviews on the last chapter... -Emos- **_

_**A~~~nyway, sankyuu, **_

**MusicAngel13, Erstein 13624**_** and **_**allen-chan85**

_**for favourite this story~~**_

_**And, double thanks to **_**MusicAngel13**_** and **_**allen-chan85**_** for favourite me and following this story respectively~~**_

_**Reviews : **_

_**Erstein 13624 - There you go, a new chapter~~!**_

_**mitsuyo-chan - *nods* yep. It explains a lot *nods once again***_

_**Musicangel113 - sorry, but I don't really get your meaning...**_

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Last time :**_

_**Those last words he heard from Neah,**_

_**Did Neah really asked him that?**_

_**Or did his mind made that up?**_

_**Or was it was just another nightmare of his?**_

_**Or maybe...**_

_**This whole thing is a nightmare itself?**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 8 - Who are you seeing in me?  
**_

.

It got worse.

Those fucking nightmares.

Kanda glared at his own reflection in the mirror as he combed his hair neatly into a high pony tail.

His once peaceful sleep was interrupt by those fucking disturbing nightmares since that day.

The day he dreamt of Allen being held up by chains.

Those nightmares were so bad until the point that Kanda couldn't even remember what were them about when he woke up.

He just woke up in the middle of the night, panting hard. Fear visible in his emotions.

However, he couldn't find the source of his fear.

What was he afraid of, in his dreams?

What was he trying to hide from?

However, aside from those, the only other thing he was sure about, was his other nightmare about Allen.

Nope.

It was not the one Allen being held up by chains.

That and _that _were the only nightmares he could remember clearly.

_That, _his other nightmare that he could still remembered clearly was...

...The one he pushed Allen down the cliff.

.

* * *

.

"Kanda, look! It's so nice up here!" Allen said as he twirled around in circles.

He looked so happy.

That was definitely a happy picture, no doubt about it.

But why did Kanda feel uneasy, as if something bad will happen anything?

Why couldn't he feel happy that he was all alone with Allen Walker on the top of a mountain?

Allen continue twirling around in circles but stopped when he spotted the cliff.

Kanda could feel his cells warning him to get away from Allen at that sight.

But why should he?

Allen is not a killer. He was sure about that.

Or at least that was what he thought.

"Wow, this looks really deep." Allen said to him, trying to warn him not to go any nearer.

He felt his legs moved by themselves. He was walking towards Allen, totally ignoring what the younger male told him just a second ago.

"Say, Kanda-"

His hands moved up by themselves and pushed Allen down the cliff.

_.  
_

_...What?_

_What was I doing? Why did I push Moyashi down?  
_

Kanda was having an internal battle in his mind as he stared at the falling figure down the cliff.

He saw Allen breathed out a sigh.

_Did he want to die that badly?_

Kanda couldn't help but asked himself. He was worry for Allen! But all the younger male did was sigh! He just fucking sighed!_  
_

Allen smiled.

_What the- He's fucking smiling now! What is he? A fucking sadist that welcomes death like a best friend? Did he not know that he was falling down from a fucking cliff?!_

Kanda felt his own lips moved.

"..."

He said something to Allen.

Allen's warm smile dropped in respond. He just stared at Kanda with a pained expression.

.

Kanda quickly ran down to the place Allen fell.

He was not sure what did he say, but he knew whatever he said had hurt Allen.

_Let him be safe. Let him be safe. Let him be safe.__  
_

He repeated those sentences like a mantra in his head.

He rushed through the thick forest and ran towards the direction Allen fell.

All the while praying to Gods for Allen's safety.

But prayers never work for Allen Walker.

He found Allen lying on the ground, eyes covered in tears. Blood flowed out from his newly made wounds.

Kanda knelt before Allen and took Allen in his hands.

That was when he realise Allen's hand was as cold as ice.

Panic built up inside of him.

_No, please, no, please, no, no._

He slowly raised his finger and placed it at Allen's nose.

Nothing.

No inhalation nor exhalation.

Just nothing.

Empty.

Allen Walker was nothing but an empty shell.

Kanda dropped his hand to his side, lifelessly.

Allen died.

In his arms.

Should he be happy that Allen died in his arms or,

Should he be sad that Allen was dead?

.

_"Die, you freak."_

_.  
_

He remembered those words at that moment.

Those hurtful words he said to Allen when Allen fell.

Why did he called Allen a freak?

Sure, the younger male looked unnatural, but he was nothing like a freak.

Heck, a freak can't be this beautiful!

So why did he called Allen a freak?

He had no idea.

He wished time could be reversed and he could stop himself from saying those words to Allen.

Maybe Allen won't die in such way if he hadn't said those words.

.

* * *

.

_Stop._

_Stop staring at me._

_No.  
_

_Stop.  
_

_ Stop staring.  
_

_I'm not what you think I am.  
_

_I'm not who you think I am.  
_

_I'm not...  
_

_I'm...  
_

_...  
_

_..  
_

_.  
_

_Who am I?  
_

_.  
_

_._

Days passed since the day Allen cut himself.

He tried to end his life again the next day, but he ended up staying alive.

Was he that sinful that not even the depths of hell could accept him?

He smiled bitterly.

He caused Mana's death when he was small.

He killed Neah, his only best friend in the age of 16.

He had a burned arm.

He had a nasty scar on his face.

He had grey eyes.

He had white hair.

In short, he was nothing but a failure of God's creation on earth.

Wasn't he?

.

_I said, _

_Stop staring.  
_

_I'm not him.  
_

_I'm innocent!  
_

_I'm really innocent.  
_

_I...  
_

_..  
_

_.  
_

_I don't even know anymore.  
_

_.  
_

_.  
_

Those glances from his schoolmates scared him.

It was as if they were looking at someone else when they look at him.

They were looking at Allen Walker, yet they weren't.

.

_Or was I the doppelgänger of Allen Walker?_

_Who is it that they are looking in me?  
_

_Who?  
_

_Will I feel better if I blind myself?  
_

_Will I?  
_

_Will all this pain disappear if I give up?  
_

_Should I give up?  
_

_.  
_

Allen shut his eyes tight as he placed his palms together, praying.

_Dear God, can you bring me away from all this pain?_

_Or will thou forsake me?_

From a distant, a meteor could be seen in the dark sky._  
_

_.  
_

_I have nothing left.  
_

_And all I feel is this cruel wanting.  
_

_We've been falling for all this time.  
_

_And now, I'm lost in paradise.  
_

_.  
_

_.  
_

_.  
_

_**TBC**  
_

* * *

_**A/N : The last paragraph was actually a part from the song "Lost in Paradise" by Evanescence. If you haven't listen to it, try it! It'll bring you to tears~~! Eto...for the part "Or will thou forsake me?", I'm not really sure if it's correct or wrong. So PM if I'm wrong? I'm not really good in this kind of words. ^^""" okay, what else...Aha! The meteor part! Have you ever heard that if you wished a wish when you see a shooting star, your wishes will come true? Well, that was for shooting stars~~~ How about meteor? If you don't know, look forward to the next chapter~~  
**_

_**Yosh, guess that is all.  
**_

_**R&R please~~~  
**_


	10. Chapter 9 - Choice

_**Thank you so much, **_**InuNeko245**_** and **_**Alluka HK Mustang**_** for following this story~**_

_**Reviews :**_

_**WithoutWingsX - I reread the last chapter and I realise how strange it was... Thanks for the review anyway~~ it made me happy~~**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Last time : **_

_**Allen shut his eyes tight as he placed his palms together, praying.**_

_**From a distant, a meteor could be seen in the dark sky.**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 9 - Choice  
**_

.

Kanda Yuu stood by his balcony, staring at the night sky.

Those nightmares bothered him.

A lot.

He couldn't even go back to sleep after them.

His eyes then caught something flying down from the sky.

_Is that a... Shooting star?_

He once heard that if one wished a wish when he or she saw a shooting star, their wish will come true.

Was it true?

Or was it a myth?

He placed his palms together, and closed his eyes...

"No, Yuu!"

Lavi ran to his side and slapped his hands apart.

He stared at Lavi funny. Why was the baka usagi so panic about him making a wish upon a star?

Sure it sounds stupid, but no harm done by trying.

Right?

He opened his mouth, wanted to ask Lavi what was going on, but before he could voice out anything, Lavi interrupted him.

"The heck are you doing, Yuu!?" Lavi stared at Kanda in a terrified expression.

"What? And what did I say about calling me by my first name!?" Kanda knew something was off.

But what was it?

"Never mind that! Tell me, what were you thinking?"

"I was just _praying_." Kanda said, making sure to highlight the word "praying".

"Praying? When you see a meteor? Are you insane?"

"Didn't you heard that wishing a wish when you see a shooting star, your wish will come true, baka usagi?"

"Oh My Gosh. Can't you differentiate the difference between a shooting star and a meteor?"

"They are the same thing."

"They are NOT!" Lavi shouted.

Kanda was taken aback by Lavi's outburst.

What in the world caused the baka usagi to act that way?

He might be wrong thinking that a shooting star and a meteor were the same thing but wasn't Lavi's behaviour weird?

Lavi didn't need to shout.

"... Didn't you know what will happen if you wished a wish when you see a meteor?" Lavi asked.

"...what will happen?"

"Your will get the things that are opposite to what you wished for."

Okay.

Now that was weird.

Things that are opposite to what you wished for?

Does that mean...

"It means that instead getting what you wished to get, you get the thing you feared the most." Lavi answered as he saw Kanda's confused face.

Silence took over.

Deciding to break the silence, Kanda questioned, "So, what brings you here?"

Lavi took _that_ book out from his bag and handed it to Kanda.

"This."

Kanda stared at the book a while before taking it.

"What's this shit?" Kanda asked as he flipped the book opened.

Before he could read any of the words inside, Lavi slammed the book close.

"What the hell?"

"Yuu, I'm giving you this book now for your future use. You can't read it now."

"And when will this "future" be?"

"When you realise that kid's real appearance."

Kanda glared at Lavi.

"You" Kanda pointed at Lavi, "...were the one who told me to get away from him and now what? Getting to know him? What's next, murdering him?"

Lavi flinched slightly at the word "murder" but decided to let it go.

"That kid's current appearance is not his real appearance. You have to make him trust you enough to show you his real appearance willingly. If you forced him, everything's over, got it?"

"No." Kanda said as he crossed his arms.

"..What?"

"That kid can hide his appearance for all I care. Why should I know about him anyway?"

"The choice is all yours, Yuu. Choose wisely. If you happened to find out more about him, remember what I just said, never pushed it further."

"...Fine."

.

* * *

.

He saw _him_ again.

This time, _he_ looked more depressing than usual.

No, Kanda Yuu was NOT stalking a certain bean sprout.

He was just curious.

Or so he thought.

He noticed the bandages on Allen's hands.

They kept on increasing.

Especially on the wrist.

And somehow, Kanda felt the urge to get near Allen Walker, to know him better, to understand him better, to...

Be near him and protect him from danger.

Not like Kanda will say the last one out loud.

.

"Oh God, the school was on fire yesterday! Remember the hut behind our school? What left was ashes!"

"On fire? Who did that?"

"No one knows. The teachers are investigating it now."

"Who's the main suspect?"

"Allen Walker."

.

There it goes again.

Rumours everywhere.

_Why is everyone blaming on moyashi again?_

.

"It must be him."

"Who?"

"Allen Walker."

"Reason?"

"His bandaged arm. He must have injured his arm when he burned the school, that's why he's hiding it!"

"A student saw him changing his bandage and saw his bandaged arm was...was... a burned arm!"

_A burned arm?_

_Was that why he hide his arms from everyone?_

Kanda sneaked a glance at Allen and saw the brown-haired teen staring into space, totally ignoring what the others said about him.

Hurt were visible in his black eyes.

No one realised.

No one.

Except Kanda.

Without second thoughts, Kanda just get near to Allen and did what he never thought he will do.

He let Allen Walker entered his world that he usually block people out.

.

.

_**TBC.**_

* * *

_**A/N : I searched up google search to double confirm my knownledge about meteor but I ended up finding that meteor and shooting stars are the same... but they are NOT! A meteor only appears once every 65 years while shooting stars are like...random! By the way...I'm running out of ideas... This story started with a random and incomplete plot in my head and now... Maybe I should start planing the whole plot for this story... When I have time... Tired...gonna *yawns* sleep...  
**_

_**R&R...please...*fell asleep*  
**_


	11. Chapter 10-Can't You Hear Me, Allen?

_**Thank you so much, **_**WouldBeExorcist, ****_for following this stroy~~~~_**

**_._**

**_Disclaimer : I don't own -Man_**

**_._**

* * *

**_._**

**_Last time :_**

_**Without second thoughts, Kanda just get near to Allen and did what he never thought he will do.**_

_**He let Allen Walker entered his world that he usually block people out.**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 10 - Can't You Hear Me, Allen?  
**_

.

Allen was hiding from a certain someone behind a tall tree. He did not know what really happen, but there's defiantly something wrong about what was happening. The mighty Kanda Yuu was searching for him! It all happened too fast, in his opinion. Too fast, indeed. Everyone accused him burning down the school and the next second, his crush came to him and talk to him. He was really happy that Kanda talked to him, but at the same time, he was terrified.

What if his nightmares come true?

That was what he told himself. He didn't want to attract any danger to his crush. When Kanda talked to him that day, he thought Kanda will leave him alone after that. But he was wrong. Kanda kept on following him since then.

Great.

Just great.

He earned a stalker.

Correction : His crush is his stalker.

Fantastic.

Allen cursed silently in his mind. He failed to notice someone else behind him. Golden eyes watched him in sorrow, lips stretched into a thin line. He opened his mouth and shouted to Allen, trying to gain Allen's attention.

"...!"

But his shout was reduced into nothingness in the thin air.

He was disappearing. He knew it well. But before that, he wanted to talk to Allen one last time. Dizziness kicked into his head as he shock his head lightly to stay awake. He knew that if he give up now, he'll never see Allen again. He tried walking closer Allen but Allen seems so far away as time pass, even though Allen never really move an inch. His vision started to blur. _Damn. Not good. _His conscious was slipping away.

_No! Allen...! Can't you hear me? Allen! Alle-_

He started coughing out blood. He covered his mouth with his right hand, the other hand lightly patted his chest, trying to eased the pain.

**Choose wisely. Stay away from Allen and you get to live longer. Or do you prefer disappearing now?**

He lifted his head and saw Allen's reflection in the window beside Allen. Allen's reflection was staring at him but Allen was still hiding from Kanda behind the tree. Besides, Allen's reflection looked...different.

It was as if...

It was someone else.

_Who are you? You're not Allen. Who exactly are you? _He asked as he glared at the reflection. The reflection just grinned in respond but spoke nothing. _Damn it! Answer me!_

The reflection stared at him a while before voicing out,

**The time is ticking.**

**His time is running out, you see.**

**I'm just here to make sure that Allen Walker disappear completely.**

**In the most painful way that no one could imagine.**

_**.**_

_**.  
**_

_**.  
**_

_**.  
**_

_**.  
**_

The bell rang, signaling the end of the school. Allen rushed our of his classroom. He didn't want to face Kanda. However, Lady Luck decided to not stand on his side that afternoon. His wrist was grab by Kanda in a tight grip. "Where were you during lunch?" Kanda asked him, all the while glaring daggers to Allen. Allen remained silent as he tried to free himself. "Stop struggling! Tell me, where were you?!" Kanda demanded. Allen then muttered a "sorry" softly before stomping hard on Kanda's feet, causing Kanda to let go of his wrist due to the shock.

It work.

Allen quickly ran towards the gate and ran all the way home.

"Damn it! Oi, MOYASHI!" Kanda screamed at Allen but Allen just ignored him and continue running. He couldn't understand why Allen was avoiding him. There were so many time he caught Allen staring at him in wonder when he thought Kanda wasn't looking. There were so many time he saw Allen tried to reach out to him but retreated his hand before he could touch him. There were so many times Allen smiled bitterly as he saw Kanda surrounded by people, asking him about homework. Doesn't that mean Allen is interested in him but was afraid of getting to know him? He talked to Allen first. That should have solved the problem. But no. Allen avoided him even more since he talked to him. Why did he act that way? That was the mystery he couldn't solve.

He sighed in defeat as he packed his things and went home.

.

.

.

.

.

**A new target?**

**Intersting...  
**

Allen's reflection grinned even wider as he stared at Kanda Yuu. He was thrill to see how Allen will suffer in the end, especially if something happen to Kanda Yuu...

**Aw...It's not time yet...**

**I guess I'll see you soon? Kanda Yuu?  
**

The reflection said to no one as he gradually disappear from sight.

.

.

.

.

.

_I've been screaming on the inside _

_And I know you feel the pain.  
_

_Can you hear me?  
_

_Can't you hear me?  
_

_I'm about to loss my mind...  
_

_.  
_

_.  
_

_.  
_

_.  
_

_.  
_

_**TBC**_

* * *

_**A/N : I know, random last paragraph again...Who is that mysterious person that stared at Allen when Allen was hiding? Any guesses? *sparkles* Oh, by the way...**__**No DGM this month...T^T So sad...*cries and emo-ing in the corner* I hope *sob* you enjoy this chapter *sob* **_  


_****__**R&R please... *went into super emo mood*  
**_


	12. Chapter 11 - Let Me Out

_**Thanks, **_**kittylover195678**_** and **_**Ying Vampire**_** for favourite this story~~~~~~~**_

_**Reviews :**_

_**AntagonizingExorcist - yep...*pats your back* guess we'll have to wait until the next month to get a new release...sigh...oh, thanks. I'll update as fast as I can :)**_

_** Yuu . Kanda . Neko - Ahahahahaha...I kinda like those story that Allen suffered in the beginning so I guess it influence my writing...? ^^""" (Sorry about the space in your user name, fanfiction don't allow me to type your name without making it disappear...) **_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Last time :**_

_**He couldn't understand why Allen was avoiding him. He talked to**_ _**Allen. But Allen avoided him even more since he talked to him. Why did he act that way? That was the mystery he couldn't solve.**_

_**He sighed in defeat as he packed his things and went home.**_

.

* * *

.

_**Chapter 11 - Let Me Out **_

.

Bookman stood at the door, staring at his grandson. Should he ask? Or should he not? He swallowed hard. He couldn't find that book since the day he lectured Lavi for trying to escape from his studies. If Lavi was the one who took it...

He shut his eyes tight, trying to shut away all the negative thoughts in his mind.

He did not wish his grandson to involved in something like this. After what he went through himself in the past, he didn't want his grandson to went through the same thing. He still remember that day when he got himself involved in _that _incident unintentionally. He couldn't forget those haunting grey eyes that stared back at him as the younger teen slaughter everyone within 10m radius. That sickening laugh that escaped from the younger teen's mouth as said teen stared at those corpse made him sick. Even so, his mind was curious. Why didn't that younger teen slaughter him too? He was just beside him. Why did the teen just stared at him and laughed like a manic instead of killing him?

Remember his name, the teen said. For they will meet again in the future.

True to his words, Bookman saw him again when he was in town just now. The younger teen should be dead years ago. He was there to witness the younger male's death. He was there. He saw it with his own eyes.

But there the younger male was, albeit his hair and eye color looked different, Bookman could tell that it was the same teen from his past.

What was his name again?

Ah, yes.

The teen that slaughter everyone.

The teen that gained pleasure by inflecting pain on the others.

His name was...

.

.

.

.

.

Allen smashed the mirror with his palm. Something was wrong. He could feel it. Everyday, it felt so hard to breath. Every morning when he woke up, he was having difficulties in breathing and it got worse as day pass. Sometimes, he wished he could just stay asleep for the rest of his life. Besides that, he was hearing voices. It was soft, but Allen could hear it crystal clear.

**Let me out**, it said.

It didn't help that he had his stalker problem to mess with his head.

Maybe he should just give up and talk to Kanda.

But how about his nightmare?

He prayed upon a shooting star. His prayer should be answered.

Right?

He sighed as he slipped another mouthful of water from his water bottle.

Maybe talking to Kanda wouldn't be that bad?

All he will do is talk.

That's all.

No harm will be done, right?

He closed his water bottle and placed it beside him.

He made up his mind.

He will stop avoiding his crush, Kanda Yuu.

But, he promised himself.

He will not revealed anything unnesecessary, such as, his appearance, to Kanda no matter what.

.

.

.

.

.

Kanda Yuu was getting annoyed. Allen Walker had stopped avoiding him, but he was obviously hiding something from Kanda. That was what made Kanda snapped everytime. Allen talked to him. It meant that Allen accepted his presence. It meant that Allen trust him, even if the trust was fragile, it was there. So, what was the thing that Allen tried so hard to hide from him?

He shut his eyes.

If Allen won't tell him anything, then be it. He will find it out himself.

.

.

.

.

.

Ever heard of déjà vu? That was what Lavi felt when he saw his grandfather came home. His grandfather was looking for something and he looked worried. Was he looking for the book? Lavi saw his grandfather's mouth moved. "...He...should...be...dead..." Lavi read his lips. _Dead? Who? _Now that caught Lavi's attention. Someone came back to life after dying? Interesting. He moved closer to his grandfather, wanted to try his luck to gain more information but what his grandfather said next made him stop in his tracks.

Fear.

Uneasy.

Surprised.

Is there anymore words to describe what Lavi felt?

Instead of walking closer to his grandfather, he did the total opposite. He walked back to his room and locked himself in there. He tried his best to clear his mind but what his grandfather said kept on repeating in his mind.

_**"Allen Walker... Why are you still living in this world?"**_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Everything that you saw._

_Everything that you heard._

_Never believed in them._

_For they are not the truth you seek._

_They are lies that breaks you down more than you expected._

_They are lies that will made you lost in your own chaotic mind._

_And it is said that,_

_You can never come out alive when you're trapped within yourself._

_-Origin : Unknown-_

.

.

.

.

.

_**TBC.**_

* * *

_**A/N : HAPPY NEW YEAR, PEOPLE! WOO HOO! ANG PAU! ME WANT ANG**_** PAU!**_** *after hours of hyper* Okay...I'm calm now...I guess**_

_**? Anyway, the last paragraph, I heard the first three lines from somewhere, I can't remember well. The fourth line of the last paragraph until the end was what I believe in... Kinda weird, huh? Oh, just in case you guys got confuse, normal font = normal ; italic = thoughts or something special ; Bold = the unknown voices Allen heard ; Italic + Bold = past / memories.**_

_**Yosh, guess that's all.**_

_**R&R please~~**_


	13. Chapter 12 - Uneven Fairness

_**Was talking to my bro and found out something... The "thing" that appear 65 years once is call a "comet" and not "meteor"... Damn...Sorry for doing this stupid mistake! Oh, gosh, I felt so ashamed of myself...*emos* I should have recheck the name for "Shao Pa Xing" (Comet) before typing the story! -sobs...-**_

_**Oh, but the reviews I got cheered me up~!**_

_**Arigatou, **_**ilanitaniaXD ****_for favourited this story, _****riksza ****_for following this story and _Beastly B ****_for favourited and following this story~~!_**

**_Reviews :_**

**_riksza = Thank you so much for the review~~~~ It made me sooooooo happy~~~~~ I'm glad to know that you enjoy this story :D_**

**_Yuu . Kanda . Neko = Thanks for the review~~~~_**

**_Disclaimer : I don't own -Man_**

**_._**

* * *

**_._**

**_Last time :_**

**_Someone came back to life after dying? Interesting. He moved closer to his grandfather, wanted to try his luck to gain more information but what his grandfather said next made him stop in his tracks._**

_**Fear.**_

_**Uneasy.**_

_**Surprised.**_

_**Is there anymore words to describe what Lavi felt?**_

_**Instead of walking closer to his grandfather, he did the total opposite. He walked back to his room and locked himself in there. He tried his best to clear his mind but what his grandfather said kept on repeating in his mind.**_

"Allen Walker... Why are you still living in this world?"

.

* * *

.

_**Chapter 11 - Uneven Fairness  
**_

.

**"...out...Let me out."**

Allen's eyes widen at that voice. His hands trembled slightly. To say that Allen was afraid was an understatement. Why, you ask? Every time he heard the voice, he always ended up having a head-splitting headache which leads to the anguish scream that will escaped from his mouth anytime.

_No. Please no. Not now. _He prayed mentally.

It was the first time it happened during the day. It usually happened at night when everyone was asleep, and he was grateful for that. At least, he could hide his screams by screaming into his pillow. He pressed his lips tight , trying his best to stop the scream that was trying to escape from his mouth. _Must...must endure it! _He told himself again and again.

"...this novel is a very popular ques- Mr. Walker!"

His head snapped back up as he heard his name being called.

"No falling asleep in my class, Mr. Walker! Either you pay full attention to what I teach or you get out of my class!" The teacher screamed at Allen, pissed at Allen's attitude. Allen opened his mouth to apologize to his teacher. He had forgotten that he was still trying his best to suppress the scream from escaping. The moment he opened his mouth, he screamed. His hands gripped tightly at his wig, trying to lessen the pain. It hurt ten time worst then usual! _It hurts! It hurts so much! _Tears were gathering at the corner of his eyes.

"What's wrong with him?"

"I knew it, he's a psycho! Look at him now! He might start to kill people again!"

"Class! Out of the class. NOW!"

"But how about Alle-"

"LEAVE HIM THERE! WE"LL DIE IF WE BRING HIM WITH US!"

His visions started to blur.

"...!"

Someone shouted something.

_Huh? What did you say? I can't hear you..._

He did not know what happened next. He couldn't feel anything. He couldn't hear anything. Everything was so blurry, he can't see clearly. The last thing that he could make out from his blurry sight before blacking out completely was...

His own reflection smiling like a sadist all the while looking at his state. He saw his reflection opened his mouth and said something.

"..."

He couldn't make out what did his reflection said. Deciding to ignore it, he turned his head in front and stared at where Kanda sat before he screamed. He swore he saw the panic look that Kanda gave him when he screamed. _Yeah right. It must be my imagination... _Even though he saw Kanda leaving the class with the others just now, he could still feel Kanda's presence in front of him. He smiled a bitter smile and reached his hand out..._  
_

Darkness took over his conscious.

.

.

.

.

.

"...this novel is a very popular ques- Mr. Walker!"

Kanda looked up and saw the teacher glaring at the one behind him. Who was seating behind again? Ah, yes. A certain moyashi.

"No falling asleep in my class, Mr. Walker! Either you pay full attention to what I teach or you get out of my class!"

He then heard a scream behind him. A heartbreaking scream. He turned around and saw Allen gripping tightly at his brown hair, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes. _What's happening to him? _He felt his heart clutched at the sight of Allen screaming like that.

"What's wrong with him?" He heard someone asked.

"I knew it, he's a psycho! Look at him now! He might start to kill people again!" Someone shouted to the class.

He was mad enough when he heard those comment. But what he heard next shocked him to the core.

"Class! Out of the class. NOW!"

Even the teacher was on the students' side. He felt his classmate pulling at his sleeve, trying to drag him out of the class with them.

He turned to the teacher, "But how about Alle-" Before he could finish his sentence, the teacher interrupted him.

"LEAVE HIM THERE! WE"LL DIE IF WE BRING HIM WITH US!"

.

_Selfish bastard. _He cursed in his mind. He turned to Allen and shouted to him.

"Allen!"

He'll admit that it sounded stupid. How could someone calm someone else down by shouting their name? But at the moment, he just decided not to care anymore. If there's any way to stop the younger teen's suffering, he'll do it. No matter how silly it sounded. But his shout was in vain. He saw Allen slowly losing conscious.

"Lock the door! I'll get the principle now!" the teacher said to the class before sprinted to the office.

Kanda stood by the window and stared at Allen. He saw Allen turning away from the window and stared at where Kanda sat before Allen screamed. He saw Allen smiled a bitter smile and reached his hands out to Kanda's place... Not long after, Allen's hand just dropped downwards, and the brown haired teen fainted on is own table before he could even reached Kanda's chair.

.

.

.

.

.

**Tick tock, tick tock...  
**

Allen's reflection stared at Allen's suffering form and started smiling like a sadist. He opened his mouth and whispered softly to Allen, **"Have fun in there~! No worries, I'll bring your Kanda-chan there for you later." **He saw Allen turned away from him and stared at Kanda's seat. He grinned.

**He love him that much, huh? **He chuckled to no one. **Well, that will make things more entertaining. **

He turned to the window located near the classroom's door and saw Kanda standing there, staring at Allen with a pained expression. His mood was ruined by that expression.

**Again? Why him?**

**why?!**

**Why?!**

**WHY?!**

**Why is he the one that everyone love?! He's not real, he's just an imposter! **

He turned back to Allen and glared at Allen. Hard.

**Guess I just have to make sure you suffer ten time worse than I did, dear _imposter _of mine. **

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

_No one seems to hear your hidden cries.__  
_

_You're left to face yourself alone._

_But where will you go?_

_With no one left to save you from yourself?_

_You can't escape?_

You don't want to escape.

.

.

.

.

.

_**TBC**_

* * *

_**A/N : Last paragraph = "Where will you go" by Evanescence from the album "Origin". **_

_**I think this is becoming a habit...(writing a part of lyrics at the end of my story...=.=)**_

_**Once again...I'M SORRY THAT I MADE THAT STUPID MISTAKE! PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!  
**_

_**R&R please?**_


	14. Chapter 13 - Incomplete Memories

_**Thank you so much for the support~~~~!**_

_**Thank you, **_**Au QUeen ****_for following this story~~~~_**

**_Reviews: _**

**_Yuu . Kanda . Neko - Thanks a lot for the review~~~~_**

**_Antagonizing Exorcist - Sorry to disappoint you! I'll write the chapters as long as I can in the future!_**

**_Disclaimer : I don't own -Man_**

**_._**

* * *

**_._**

**_Last time :_**

_**Why is he the one that everyone love?! He's not real, he's just an imposter!**_

**He turned back to Allen and glared at Allen. Hard.**

**_Guess I just have to make sure you suffer ten time worse than I did, _****dear****_ imposter of mine._**

_._

* * *

_._

**_Chapter 12 - Incomplete Memories  
_**

.

_What's happening...?_

"Allen! What are you doing-AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!"

He knew he killed Neah, but why...

"Allen, what's wrong?"

...Why was he witnessing all of this in the third person view?

"Allen-"

He shut his eyes tight. The sound of blood splashing was all he could hear next.

He didn't realize until now. His memories about the night he killed Neah was...strange.

He knew he killed Neah with his own hands.

He knew it all along.

He saw how Neah died in front of his very own eyes. But when all that happened, he was just beside the killer and the victim. He was just beside both of them all along.

He saw himself killing Neah. But that "himself" was not him. Because he was there, standing beside them.

So, who was that?

That _stranger _has the same face he had, the same hair color, the same eye color, the same scar, the same arm...

_He_ was the perfect replica of him!

He saw _him _slashed Neah's head apart.

_Stop this._

Neah's corpse fell to the ground with a hard _thud._

_Whoever you are, please. Stop._

His fear-visible eyes staring at his best friend's corpse, body trembling at the sight.

_Stop. Stop. STOP. STOP. I SAID STOP!_

He felt so sick looking at his own memories. He reached his hands up and gripped tightly on his hair, pulling them. His once slow and steady breath was then shaky breath.

**"He deserve this."**

He raised his head slowly, staring at _him_. He saw _him _grinned like a sick sadist and advanced towards Allen.

_No._

He turned around and started running. He heard the footsteps behind him quicken too. He knew _he _was chasing him.

_No. No. NO. NO. I'm scared. Help, someone! Anyone! _

He saw a familiar figure in front of him. Long raven hair flowing as wind blew.

_...Kanda?_

He felt relieved. He ran to Kanda, calling out to Kanda as he ran.

"Kanda!"

He felt something circling his leg. He looked down and saw thorny stems growing from the ground and held him in the place. He tried to yanked it away, but the stems just tighten its grip and drew blood on his leg. He turned to Kanda once again and shouted once more, trying to attract the other's attention. But his affords were in vain. Kanda slowly walked away from that place.

"Kanda! KANDA!"

Said male was walking even further away from Allen.

"KANDA!"

More stems grew from the ground and dragged Allen down. Some of them even covered his mouth, preventing him to continue screaming.

"...!"

Darkness overcome his senses.

_._

_Can't you hear me, Kanda?_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

"I told you he's not normal!"

"Look at his arm! Ew! How did he even get such a disgusting arm?!"

"Look at his hair! Its white! White, people, WHITE!"

"He must be a psycho!"

"No, he's a freak. A FREAK! F.R.E.A.K. He does not belong here!"

Kanda threw the glass bottle he hold to the wall. He felt pissed. To the max.

"Will you fuckers shut up already!" he shouted to the class.

Sensing Kanda's wrath, the students quickly leave the infirmary, leaving Kanda alone with Allen. He turned around and stared at the boy's real feature. _Why did he hide this from me? Am I that untrustworthy? _He couldn't help but ask himself. He twined some silver strands between his finger, feeling the softness and played with it absent-mindedly.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The sound of the machine beeping was the only sound in the room. Kanda continue playing with Allen's silver strand while his mind wandering to somewhere else. What will happen to Allen? Will he be okay? He was so worried for the boy that he did not notice another presence behind him.

Bookman stared at the boy in the room in fear. He was the same teen from his past. The same teen that he saw on street several days ago. That lead him back to his original question.

"Allen Walker... Why are you still living in this world?"

Kanda snapped awake from his thoughts as he heard those words. He turned to the door and saw an old man standing there, as if he was immobilize by what was on the bed...

Wait.

Wasn't it Allen on the bed?

Did something happened to Allen?

He turned back quickly and saw the same Allen lying on the bed. He stared at the old man, then at Allen, finally at the old man again, not understanding what happened.

"Sir, may I ask, what did you mean by why he is still living in this world?"

He was testing his luck, he knew it. But this stranger seems to know something.

Something that Allen's hiding from him.

And he will find it out.

He vowed to himself, didn't he?

.

Bookman stared at the japanese teenager in front of the bed frame.

_**"Stop this! What are you doing, Allen?!"**_

_**"STOP ALREADY!"**_

_**"Ha...HahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!"**_

He shook his head, trying to clear away those awful memories that resurface in his mind.

"...Sir?" He heard the teenager asking him again.

"Ah, yes. Just call me "Bookman", child. Who are you, and what is your relationship with Allen Walker?"

He saw the teen stiffen a little.

"..."

The teen was hesitating, he could tell. But, he needed to know.

"You can tell me. I won't tell anyone."

The teen stared at him suspiciously. Guess he had no choice...

"I'll tell you everything I know about Allen Walker in return."

That caught the teen's attention.

"...I'm Kanda Yuu. I'm just...a friend..." Kanda said to Bookman, trailling off when he said that he was Allen's friend. He wanted to be more than just friends with Allen! But...

"A friend?"

"Yes."

"Best friend? You stood up for him just now."

"...I guess you could put it that way."

He saw Bookman gave him a pitied look.

"Stay away from him, child."

_**"Mark my words, Yuu. Don't go near him."**_

He remembered Lavi said the same thing to him.

"...Why?"

Lavi didn't give him a reason. But that's okay. He will get it. From this Bookman.

"Listen to my advise, child. The price of being close to him is too high."

He harden his eyes.

"Tell me why."

"You don't have to know abou-"

"You said you will tell me everything about him."

_Silence._

"Cat got your tongue now?"

"W-"

"Gramps! What are you doing in my schoo- Oh, hi Yuu!"

.

Lavi went to the infirmary when he heard what happened to the kid.

Worry. That would be the perfect word to describe him now.

_It started...? Isn't this a little too early?! _

"...Why?"

Lavi halted his steps.

"Listen to my advise, child. The price of being close to him is too high."

_Gramps?_

"Tell me why."

"You don't have to know abou-"

"You said you will tell me everything about him."

_Say what?_

"Cat got your tongue now?"

"W-"

"Gramps! What are you doing in my schoo- Oh, hi Yuu!"

Lavi pretended to walk in and interrupted their conversation. He could feel Kanda sending him a heated glare, creating holes into his very soul. Decided to ignore it, Lavi just push Bookman out of the room. He let his real emotion slipped as he and Bookman get out of the room.

Kanda should not know about Allen. Not now. Not when _its _starting.

When it started, everything's over.

It was all too late.

The kid could not be saved anymore.

And the only way left to keep Kanda alive was...

Delete the person "Allen Walker" from his life.

.

.

.

.

.

_Its so hard to breath in here._

_Someone save me._

_Please._

_I'm begging you._

_Please._

_Save..._

_...me..._

_...Kanda...Where are you...?  
_

**No. You don't deserve him.  
**

_...Who...?_

He heard a sickening laughter.**  
**

**Wanna know something? You won't be able to see Kanda Yuu again.**

_What? What did you do to him?!  
_

**Worry for yourself first, dear imposter of mine.  
**

He felt his heart clenched. Metalic taste liquid flowed out from his mouth. He couldn't breath.

_...Who...are...you..._

He managed to gasp out. He could see a figure moving in the dark, coming closer to him. He squinted his eyes slightly to get a better view.

What he saw shocked him to the core.

He saw himself covered in dried blood. But those blood wasn't _his_, he knew. _He _wore a sadistic expression as _he_ stared down at Allen.

**Disappear on me, imposter.**

Pain grew from his insides as Allen screamed out in pain. Tears were forming at the corner of his eyes.

**This is not the end. Be sure to enjoy it to the fullest.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

_Where's the light?  
_

_Killed my day_

_Lost in the dark of your ways._

_Wasting my energy, endlessly,_

_On your sweet lie._

_And if you don't mind, _

_I would love to live the lie then I will survive._

_And if you don't mind_

_I would love to slip away_

_And leave your world behind._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

**TBC**

* * *

**A/N : I hope this is long enough? Last paragraph : If You Don't Mind - Evanescence. Enjoy~~~~  
**

**R&R please~~~~**


	15. Chapter 14 - Dear Diary

_**I said these tons of times already. But still...**_

_**Thank you~~~~**_

**0 me myself and I 0**_** and **_**8shinigamikiller8 ****_for both favourite and following this story~~~~_**

**_Review:_**

**_Antagonizing Exorcist - Thanks a lot for the review~~ I'll try my best~! _**

**_Disclaimer : I don't own -Man_**

**_._**

* * *

**_._**

**_Last time :_**

_**Kanda should not know about Allen. Not now. Not when **_**its**_** starting.**_

_**When it started, everything's over.**_

_**It was all too late.**_

_**The kid could not be saved anymore.**_

_**And the only way left to keep Kanda alive was...**_

_**Delete the person "Allen Walker" from his life.**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 14 - Dear Diary  
**_

_**.**_

Do you know that feeling? The feeling that makes you feel like killing people due to your chaotic thoughts? Even though you know you'll be locked up for doing so? The feelings of defeat and discouragement?

Frustrated.

I believed that was what it called.

And that was what Kanda felt.

The more he thought about it, the more he felt like torturing a certain baka usagi. _Damn that baka usagi! _He cursed inwardly as he drank the tea he held in his hand to calm himself down. He was so close in getting an answer from Bookman. He was so _close!_ Yet, that baka usagi just appeared out of no where and draged Bookman away. He crossed his arms after placing the cup on a table and glared at a random direction as he leaned on the wall.

.

_**"Gramps! What are you doing in my schoo- Oh, hi Yuu!"**_

_**.**_

_Bookman was that baka usagi's grandfather, huh? _He narrowed his eyes as he tried to put all the pieces together.

.

_**"Stay away from him, child."**_

_**"Mark my words, Yuu. Don't go near him."**_

_**.**_

They both said the same thing. They both warned him not to get near Allen. But none of them told him the reason why. Was Allen really that dangerous? He remembered seeing Lavi's expression the moment Lavi pushed Bookman out of the door. Worry? Sadness? Fear? He did not know which could best describe the expression he saw. It was as if Lavi was trying to hide something from him... Kanda bit his bottom lip lightly. He did not like it, that feeling of being lied to. He loathed that feeling from the core of his soul. He already felt hurt when Allen kept his real appearance from Kanda, And later he figured that Lavi was hiding something from him. Why was everyone keeping secrets from him?

"...Tch."

Did they not think of Kanda as a friend?

Not that Kanda will admit that they were friends out loud.

He then caught something at the corner of his eyes. It was _that_ book. The book that Lavi gave him.

.

_**"Yuu, I'm giving you this book now for your future use. You can't read it now."**_

_**"And when will this "future" be?"**_

_**"When you realise that kid's real appearance."**_

.

He knew about Allen's real appearance already... Could he read it?

As much as he wanted to say that reading a book at a time like this was _weird_, he somehow felt the urge to read the book. It was as if the book was screaming out to Kanda, beckoning him to read the content.

A giggle could be heard. Kanda turned around to search for the source, but he found nothing.

_Maybe it's just my imagination... _Kanda convinced himself as he climbed into bed, with the book in his hand.

He flipped the book open and started reading.

.

.

.

.

.

"...So you knew."

Lavi gulped. He could feel the heavy atmosphere growing slowly as time pass.

"...Where's the book?" demanded Bookman.

"I gave it to Yuu..."

"You what?"

"..."

"...Do you have any idea what have you done to those two now?"

"Huh?" All he did was giving Kanda the book. So what exactly did Bookman meant by "what have you done"?

Bookman just stared at his grandson with a disappointed look before walking away.

"Lavi, stay away from those two. Starting NOW."

"But, gramps-" Lavi grabbed on Bookman's arm.

"I just gave Yuu the book! So what did you mean by "what have I done"? And why should I stay away from them?"

"You have no idea what you'll get yourself into!"

"You never told me what happened that night when you returned home with _that _book! I have no idea what I'll get myself into? Of course I do! That's why I gave Kanda the book. He might change the ending and- Gramps what are you doing! Wait, where are you dragging me?!"

Before Lavi could finish his argument with Bookman, he was dragged into his room and locked inside.

"What the hell?! Gramps! What are you doing!" Lavi banged on the door again and again.

"This is for your own good."

"Yeah right! Let me out! I need to help that kid!"

"And how are you going to do it?"

"I'll..."

.

_**They thought they found the solution to escape this fearful phenomena. However, they were wrong.**_

_**.**_

A sudden thought made Lavi cut off his own voice.

Gramps was right. What could he do to save those two? If he delete "Allen Walker" from Kanda's life, wasn't he repeating the same mistake the past victims made?

His banging slowed down.

What could he do?

What could he do to save those two?

The sudden thought of Kanda might have already read the book frighten him.

_Ah, indeed._

He slid down the door and leaned against it. _What have I done to those two?_

"...I'm sorry, kid. I'm sorry...Yuu..."

Tears slowly slid down his cheeks as he kept on apologizing to no one.

.

.

.

.

.

_20th January, 20XX_

_Dear Diary,_

He_ done it again, that imposter of mine. I hate him. Why is he even alive in this place? I'm "Allen Walker", not him! I'm the owner of this body! So why did he exist? Why did he even exist in this life?! Argh! Dearest Diary, I swear I'll lost my mind someday and... You know... Okay, great, now I'm crazy...Why am I even talking to a damn lifeless diary? _

_Anyway, Dear Diary (I don't care if you really exist or not), expect to hear me some other day. You know I don't write diary everyday._

_Bye for now._

_-Allen Walker_

_P.S. - I wish, no. I WANT that damn imposter of mine get OUT of MY body and STOP messing with my life!_

.

.

.

.

.

_21st January, 20XX_

_Dear Diary,_

_I just reread what I wrote yesterday and I was...kind of surprise to see such entry. My friends commented on my strange behavior too. They said that I acted like a totally different person. According to their description...I dare say that the "me" that they saw yesterday was the same person who wrote yesterday's entry. _

_But what does he meant by "I'm the real "Allen Walker", not him!" ? _

_I'm feeling tired now. I guess I'll write some other time?  
_

_Confused mind,_

_-Allen Walker_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

Allen Walker lied on the pool of blood, unconscious. His other self was beside him, humming an unknown tune to himself.

_**Enjoy your dreams, dear imposter~**_

He grinned as he saw more blood flowing down the motionless body of Allen Walker, like a river, connecting itself to the pool of blood.

_**For you shall not wake up anymore.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_25th December, 20XX_

_Dear Diary,_

_The reality is so complex. _

_If I was to wake up just to suffer daily life's stress._

_Why should I wake up?_

_If I was given a choice._

_I will choose to wander in my dreamland,_

_And only wake up when the troubles are all gone._

_Can you grant me that wish, dear Lord?_

_-Allen Walker_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_**TBC**_

* * *

_**A/N : Done~~~~~ Okay, the diary part is the what happened in the past between Allen and his other self. Yes, the past as in the time before Bookman was involved in **_**that _incident. Beware of the dates! 'Cause I'm skipping the sequence of the diary. Just pay attention to the date and you won't get confused~ Oh, one more thing... my March Test starts at 11st of March... and I haven't even touch my books yet... So... the next update might be slightly late? I'll try my best to find time to write! _  
**

**_R&R please?_**


	16. Chapter 15 - The Beginning Of Everything

_**Ha~~~~ Exams over~~~! Animax Carnival also over... (yeah, that's what happened to me in the past...3(?) weeks...) I swear, I AM planing to write a new chapter last week! But, But, I was too tired! **_

_**By the way, Thanks :**_

**- alicetrollz**_** and **_**icanshock . z ****_for following this story, favourite this story and favourited me~~~!_**

**_- _****fallendestinyxx ****_for favourited this story~~~_**

**_Disclaimer : I don't own -Man_**

**_._**

* * *

**_._**

**_Last time :_**

_**Allen Walker lied on the pool of blood, unconscious. His other self was beside him, humming an unknown tune to himself.**_

Enjoy your dreams, dear imposter~

_**He grinned as he saw more blood flowing down the motionless body of Allen Walker, like a river, connecting itself to the pool of blood.**_

For you shall not wake up anymore.

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 15 - The Beginning Of Everything  
**_

_**.**_

_It happened again._

He saw everyone leaving him without turning back. They did not hesitate.

Not even a bit.

They just turned around and left him there. The rain, it poured on him. Funny, the weather seems to be connected to his emotions most of the time.

_...Why?_

He stood there, ignoring the feeling of rain water pouring on him, soaking him wet.

_Are you crying for me too, Oh mighty Lord? _

He stared ahead, eyes falling on the direction his friends went.

_Are you pitying me? If so... Why?_

Life hated him, it seems. But what can he do? He tried his best already, yet the others didn't seem to accept him.

Not even once.

He bit his lips lightly. His fists were clenched tightly at his side. He loathed this. Why was everyone preferring _him _over him? Was he really that imperfect until the point that _he _could take over his place? He hate _him_. So much that he could even trade his life just to erase _his _existence.

He wrote his feelings that day in his diary.

_20th January, 20XX_

_Dear Diary,_

He_ done it again, that imposter of mine. I hate him. Why is he even alive in this place? I'm "Allen Walker", not him! I'm the owner of this body! So why did he exist? Why did he even exist in this life?! Argh! Dearest Diary, I swear I'll lost my mind someday and... You know... Okay, great, now I'm crazy...Why am I even talking to a damn lifeless diary? _

_Anyway, Dear Diary (I don't care if you really exist or not), expect to hear me some other day. You know I don't write diary everyday._

_Bye for now._

_-Allen Walker_

_P.S. - I wish, no. I WANT that damn imposter of mine get OUT of MY body and STOP messing with my life!_

_.  
_

The chance just came to him one day.

Or should I say, tempting him to give up his everything just to kill _him_?

The temptation was so alluring that it blurred up his senses. All he could think of back then was erasing _his_ existence. It was so tempting, the deal he was given.

Should he give in?

Or should he not?

He did not know what made him gave in.

Or did he even care in the first place?

_After these, _he _will disappear from my life._

He smiled to himself.

_Yes, after all these. He will be gone for good._

Yet, he did not know the choice he made will caused that _incident_ to happen.

Well, in actual fact, who knows what will happen in the future?

Right?

.

.

.

.

.

**Worrying about him, aren't you?**

Neah glared at him, hard.

"You're not Allen." Neah said. His voice full with hatred.

**I am.**

"You're not him. I'm sure of it."

**Accept the truth. I _am_ him.**

"...You may have the same appearance as Allen, but you're not him."

**Oh? Are you sure?**

Neah opened his mouth to speak, but let his voice die down when he realised there was nothing he could say. What could he say, indeed? There were two Allen in front of him. One of them was lying on the ground, bleeding, the other one was standing beside the bleeding Allen, his clothes stained with blood, even though he didn't seem to have any injuries. Who is the real one, he wondered.

"...Who are you, really. You said you are Allen. Yet, there's another 'Allen' beside you, bleeding to death."

He twitched, as if Neah had just touched a sensitive topic.

**...How many times do I have to tell you?! I AM ALLEN WALKER! NOT HIM! **

He screamed at Neah and advanced to Neah, swinging his hands and stabbed an imaginary knife to Neah's heart.

There was no knife. Yet the pain could be felt. The wound bled. Neah clutched at his wound and tried to push "Allen" away. But his efforts were in vain. "...Al...Allen! ...Wake...up...Al-"

That was all he could screamed at the bleeding Allen before disappear completely from earth.

He hope his voice could reach Allen.

He really do.

Yet, he was only a soul.

Could Allen really hear him?

He did not know.

_Lord, please save him._

That was his last prayer before surrendering himself to the welcoming darkness.

.

.

.

.

.

"..."

Kanda stared at the book in annoyance.

"This is complete bullshit!"

He threw the book across the room and stomped his feet hard, releasing his anger at the innocent floor. He read the book for hours, yet all written inside the book was just some sort of crappy written fairy tales. And to worsen it, every fucking sentences made no fucking sense! For example,

_They woke up. They were still alive albeit the pain they felt was still there. They thought they found the solution to escape this fearful phenomena. However, they were wrong._

_All the things happened to them, was actually the sign of something woke up._

The story didn't have a specific character to begin with! It just said "they" every single fucking time it tried to name a person. In the end, people will conclude that the characters in the story were "they". There were no names. _Are the author that lazy to even think of a name for his/her characters?!_

What was the baka usagi thinking?

Giving him a book like that and said that he could only read it after he know about Allen's real appearance.

What does this stupid book have anything to do with Allen?

He felt like murdering Lavi.

_That baka usagi better have a better explanation for this stupid book._

.

.

.

.

.

It rained.

Again.

_Is it raining season or something now?_

Allen stared out of the window and stared at the raining scenery outside.

It wasn't like he hate rain. He loved them! The sound of water droplets splashed on the glass, the wall, the roof, creating a hauntingly peaceful noise to the world. It may sound irritating to other people. However, for Allen, that was the best voice ever! Even better than any singer on earth. No metal background music, no off-tuned instrument spoiling the enviroment... It was just the way Allen like it. It was as if he was underwater, not a noise could be heard. Silence everywhere. Surprisingly, it soothed his soul, the silence.

He closed his eyes, allowing darkness to enter his sight, and coldness of the weather to interact with his body. It felt like he was in paradise. A underwater paradise. A _secret _underwater paradise. No humans can enter it, only him. Because he was the creator of it. He was the only one allowed to enter there.

_Because no human beings can hold their breath that long underwater._

Everything was perfect. So perfect. Too perfect. He smiled to himself. _I can wander here forever..._

"Allen!"

And everything was ruined.

"Allen! I need your help! See this question? How do you solve it? I checked the answer, it said 2X. But how the heck did they get 2X?!"

_Ah, noisy._

"...d no one else can solve it!"

_Shut up._

"...n? Allen? Are you even listening to me...?"

_Shut up._

"Allen! Hey! I'm talking to you."

_I said, shut up._

"...Oi! Wake up and help me already!"

_SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I SAID SHUT UP!_

Allen opened his eyes and saw his classmate in front of him, showing him the question all the while whining about how hard Additional Maths was.

What was his name again?

Ah, yes.

Chao Ji Han, wasn't it?

"...Come on, you must help me!"

_The noise... Unbearable... SHUT UP FOR GOD SAKE ALREADY!_

A slap could be heard.

Students turned to their direction and was shocked to see Allen Walker slapping Chao Ji.

Allen did not know what happened to himself. Why was he so frustrated about Chao Ji asking him the solution for a question? Why was his mind shouting at Chao Ji to shut up? He could see the shocked face on his classmate's face. He mentally prayed it was just an illusion he slapped his friend.

_Please, please. Its not true... _

"Why did you slapped him, Allen?"

"Yeah, he did not do anything wrong."

That was all he needed to confirm what he had done.

He had slapped his classmate.

Without a reason.

"...I'm sorry."

He apologised and rushed out of the classroom.

_What's happening to me these days?_

Allen could felt something was wrong. But what was it?

.

_**"You were acting...kind of weird yesterday..."**_

_**"Weird?"**_

_**"Yeah. It was like... You were someone else."**_

_**"...How did I act like?"**_

_**"Hm...How should I put this? You were almost the same but you were more short-tempered, and you got pissed off easily."**_

_**"...Really...?"**_

_**.**_

His friends commented on his strange behaviour the day before during recess. Yet, he had no memories of what happened. Sighing, he took his diary out and started flipping the pages. It was a simply book. Just a black hard cover book without any decoration. From far, it even looked like a dictionary. Still, he wrote some crappy stuff like what he saw in his dreams in the front pages just to made people thought it was just some stupid book written by their friends. His real diary started from a certain page of the book. Only him knew the way to read and write his diary.

He flipped the pages and stopped at a certain page.

Shocked were visible in his eyes as he scanned through the words.

_...Did I really... wrote all this yesterday...?_

He read his own diary on the entry "20th January, 20XX".

He was scared and confused.

.

_**I'm "Allen Walker", not him!**_

.

Especially that sentence.

It freaked him out.

W-

_RIIIIIIING!_

He snapped awake from his thoughts and looked at his watch. It was the end of school. He slowly walked back to his classroom, silently praying that his classmates were gone.

His wish was granted.

He packed his bag and walked home.

Little did he know, his classmates were observing his movement and silently following him from behind.

.

.

.

.

.

.

_**TBC**_

* * *

_**Author's Note : Done~~~! I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter too~  
**_

_**R&R please?**_


	17. Chap 16-It All Started With An Accident

_**The reviews part are getting silent now... *sighs* anyway, thank you so much, **_**maryam24ish ****_for both favourite and following this story and me~~~! It made me sooooo happy~~~! ^^_**

**_Oh, did you guys hear? DGM is canceled from the Jump SQ magazine... :'( Seems like we won't get any new chapter until Hoshino sensei recover and find a new publisher for DGM... *Emos*_**

**_Disclaimer : I don't own -Man_**

**_._**

* * *

**_._**

**_Last time :_**

_**He snapped awake from his thoughts and looked at his watch. It was the end of school. He slowly walked back to his classroom, silently praying that his classmates were gone.**_

_**His wish was granted.**_

_**He packed his bag and walked home.**_

_**Little did he know, his classmates were observing his movement and silently following him from behind.**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 16 - It All Started With An Accident **_

_**.**_

Strange.

Everyone's stare was so strange.

It was as if, they saw a ghost appearing.

"...What's wrong?" Allen asked his friends as he approached them. They looked terrified. Some even fell off the chair just to get away from Allen.

"No! Get away! GET AWAY!"

Everyone was acting strange.

_._

"Did you see him?"

"...How...?"

"He should be dead..."

"I saw the truck sent him flying!"

"Me too! But... He..."

_Is that why everyone is avoiding me?_

He was confused. What was happening? Why did everyone thought that he was dead? All he did the day before was slapping (accidentally) Chao Ji, walked back home, and... That's all! Nothing special happened!

Wait.

What was that memory that slipped across his mind just now?

.

.

.

.

.

"Seriously... What's wrong with me these day? Geez..."

Allen walked down the road all the while muttering to himself.

"Why did I slapped Chao Ji? Why? What happened to me back then?"

He felt a head splitting pain.

_Dizzy..._

Ignoring his mind, he continued his journey back home.

_I need to rest... No not now! This is the middle of the road! I can't rest here! Its okay, the pain will go away after a while, I'll just continue walking..._

Everything was getting blurry.

_...Must get home..._

Is that a flashing light he saw?

He squinted his eyes slightly, but the image was still blurry

_Honk! Honk! HONK!_

What was that noise?

He felt something knocked him over. But what was that?

Red.

Why was the road red?

_Ah...It's getting... blurry..._

He heard some screaming.

But he no longer have the strength to find out who screamed and why did he or she screamed.

.

.

.

.

.

It was all an accident.

A _common _accident that happens often.

A drunken truck driver ran over a schoolboy.

Oh, what a common accident.

Anyone who saw this accident will think that the schoolboy was unlucky.

Yet, to Allen, it was a way of God sending him salvation.

He felt his imposter losing conscious, allowing him to gain full control of his body.

He blinked and felt himself lying on the road. He slowly sat up, trying his best to understand his situation.

His imposter was gone. For a while.

Just by making his imposter lose conscious, he could take over the body.

How easy it was.

But should he do it?

Or should he not?

This deal that God gave him was so tempting.

But... wasn't it unfair for his imposter?

...

Why did he even care for _that_?

_After these, _he _will disappear from my life._

He smiled to himself.

_Yes, after all these. He will be gone for good._

He'd made up his mind.

He will take over his imposter's role,

And no one can stop him.

No one.

Despite he knew that, he will end up losing his humanity in the end.

"...Now, lets give that stupid driver a lesson, shall we?"

.

.

.

.

.

"...You was there right? You followed him silently right? Did someone called an ambulance? Is that why he had no injuries?"

"..."

"Come on! Speak up!"

"We were planning to call an ambulance for him..."

"...Were planning? What do you mean?"

"We saw him ran over by a truck. We wanted to help him but..."

"...But what?"

"...Promise you won't tell?"

"Cross my heart."

"...We saw him stood up himself and killed the truck driver with a sadistic smile painted on his face."

"...Ahahaha... Seriously, bro. Stop joking already."

"It's the truth! He, he just stood up himself, although he was badly injured, he managed to! He ran after the truck and killed the driver, all the while laughing like a manic!"

Allen stopped in his track as he registered those words into his mind. His eyes were widen in fear.

He remember a truck ran over him. But when he woke up, he was in his apartment. So, why did they...

A sudden nausea hit him hard.

_What...? Not again...  
_

All he could see at the next second was...

Darkness.

.

.

.

.

.

_14th March, 20XX_

_Dear Diary,_

_Something's wrong. _

_But what is it?_

_I felt like I'm forgetting something. _

_Or someone._

_Or... both?_

_I don't know anymore!_

_I just hope that this something or someone is not that important._

_For I have something more _important _things to care about... _

_Oh, look at the time!_

_Gotta' go now._

_-Allen Walker_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

Oh, great.

After reading that useless book, his nightmare got worse.

A lot more worse.

No, he was NOT afraid of those nightmares.

He was Kanda Yuu, for God's sake!

But still, those nightmares were getting really, really disturbing.

He saw Allen dying on the ground, yet there was another 'Allen' standing beside him.

"Save me", he heard a voice whispered in the air. It sounded so painful, as if the speaker was in a lot of pain.

And to worsen it, it sounded a lot like Allen.

He tried to reach for the bleeding Allen, but every time, the other Allen will stop him from doing so.

**Leave him, **the other Allen said.

He ignored the other Allen and try to get nearer to the bleeding Allen, but Allen seemed to be in more pain as he get closer to him.

He was afraid that he might hurt Allen if he get any closer.

**Leave him, **the voice repeated.

Perhaps this was the best?

Kanda slowly turned his back against Allen and walked away. He swore, he could feel a pang of guilt as he turned. And those were not the best feeling in the world. He wanted to save Allen, but what could he do? He would only hurt Allen more by getting near him.

For the first time in his life,

He felt afraid for someone else life.

.

.

.

.

.

_**TBC**_

* * *

_**Author's Note : *Still in emo mood* (sorry, can't say anything when I'm in emo mood) Er... Reviews? please?  
**_


	18. Chap 17-Will You Save Me?

_**Thank you so much, **_**tazssj ****_for both following and favourited this story~~~~ ^^_**

**_Reviews :_**

**_Guest - I'm happy to know that you love this fic~ :) as for the confusing part... Just beware of the dates (In the diary part), and reread some chapters to refresh what happened in the past for some time then it'll be clearly. I hope that helps. ( 'Cause that's how I understand confusing story ^^"" ) Hope you find it useful~ _**

**_WouldBeExorcist - Hm... Evil Allen called Allen "imposter". I usually change the POV from one character to another after the page break (in my case are the 5 dots). So, when you see _****Allen****_ refering Allen as "imposter", that's the POV for the evil Allen :) _**

**_tazssj - I'm happy to know that you like this fic :)_**

"Normal"

**"The evil Allen speaking (Only use this when it is not evil Allen's POV)" **_"_

_Thoughts"_

_**"Past memories and Author's Note"**_

_**I hope this can clear things up...? Er... Maybe, a little...?**_

**_Disclaimer : I don't own -Man_**

**_._**

* * *

**_._**

**_Last time :_**

_**Kanda slowly turned his back against Allen and walked away. He swore, he could feel a pang of guilt as he turned. And those were not the best feeling in the world. He wanted to save Allen, but what could he do? He would only hurt Allen more by getting near him.**_

_**For the first time in his life,**_

_**He felt afraid for someone else life.**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 17 -Will You Save Me From The Nothing I've Become?  
**_

_**.**_

_Its dark._

_Can someone turn on the lights?_

_It's too dark in here._

Allen felt insecure. He did not know why. It was the first time he was afraid of the dark.

_Please, _

_Turn on the lights._

_I'm... _

_... Scared._

His body was acting at its own will. He felt tears streaming down his cheeks. Was he sad? Was he that afraid? He did not know. All he knew was he witnessing himself abandoned by his ex-friends.

.

_**He saw everyone leaving him without turning back. They did not hesitate.**_

_**Not even a bit.**_

_**They just turned around and left him there.**_

_**.**_

It was as if he was watching a review of someone's life. And this "someone" surprisingly looked exactly like him. And surprisingly, he felt hurt as those so-called ex-friends he had turned their back against him.

_No more..._

_Just... Stop the darkness..._

_No more... Memories..._

He could feel his body screaming to be freed from the dark. But why? Was it because he was once dragged into the darkness?

_I want to wake up. Its hell in here, _

_In this tainted Paradise._

_I want to leave this place forever._

_But where else can I go?_

_Will these insecure feeling leave me once I leave this so-called Paradise__?_

_I just have to open my eyes, right?  
_

_Everything will be okay, right?_

_Everything will go back to their origin, right?_

He felt something begging him to open his eyes. He slowly opened his eyes and saw his other self staring down at him with a sadistic grin painted on his face.

**Have a nice dream?**

Allen found himself lying on the cold ground, unable to move. He let his sight wandered around, trying to remember what happened before.

_Ah... I fainted in class, didn't I?_

He heard a chuckle from his other self.

**So... How does it feel? To witness your friends leaving you alone?**

Silence.

**Sad, wasn't it? **

"...What are you?" Allen asked silently.

**I'm Allen Walker.**

"...Those memories... Are they yours?"

**Those memories belong to Allen Walker.**

"...Tell me, my other self, what do you want from me? Why did you show me those... those memories?"

Allen could swear he saw his other self's grin widen at his question.

**To show you how much I suffer since you appeared in my life.**

"..." Before Allen could say anything, he saw even more flashes of memories in front of his eyes.

_**.**_

_**"Stop this! What are you doing, Allen?!"**_

_**"STOP ALREADY!"**_

_**"Ha...HahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!"**_

_**.**_

His eyes widen at the scene.

"...You... How could you..." He asked in disbelieve.

**Oh? Why can't I?**

"No... This is just wrong... You shouldn't..."

**Have you forget that your existence is the only reason I killed them all?**

Allen bit his bottom lip. His other self was right. Through those memories, he could see how much his existence had affected his other self. It was so clear that...

He was ruining someone else life just by existing.

"...What should I do? To prevent the same incident from happening again?"

His other self just smirked at him before turning around, leaving Allen there once again.

_Why is he leaving?_

_So... What should I do?_

_Does this mean I have to leave the life I'm living now to stop all those from happening?_

_Or-_

His thoughts were interrupted by his other self's voice.

**It's too late to do anything now, dear imposter of mine. **

**This game started long ago. This time, I swear, I will erase your existence for good.  
**

He felt his world froze as his mind registered what his other self told him next.

**That wannabe samurai of yours is now officially involved in this** _**game,**_** dear imposter of mine.  
**

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

"He's a genius!"

"A prodigy!"

"He is the most perfect student I've ever met!"

"Hey, Allen! Tell us your secret of being successful."

_Who am I to them?_

"Yeah, tell us!"

_I want to get out of here._

"Please! Tell us!"

_I must get out of here._

"Hello~? Allen Walker?"

_I don't belong here._

"Oi...!"

_These people in front of me, who are they?_

"Come on, Allen. Tell us already!"

_Stop staring at me with those eyes! _

_I'm not him!_

_I'm..._

"Allen-"

_Why are you guys calling out my name, yet looking for him?  
_

_Am I that unqualified to be "Allen"?_

_Even though I'm the real Allen and not _him_?_

_Damn you, imposter of mine._

"Al-"

_DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU_

_GET AWAY FROM MY LIFE ALREADY, IMPOSTER OF MINE!_

He pushed his "friends" aside and started running away.

.

.

.

.

.

He saw them backing away from him.

He knew what they were doing.

They were ignoring his existence.

When he asked for the reason, all he got was a cold "You're not Allen. Allen always smile. Allen does everything perfectly, unlike you."

He didn't get it. Why was everyone judging people by looking at their appearance and start imagining how they act like?

He loathed his imposter.

The others treated his imposter as "Allen", not him.

He was left alone.

All because of _him_.

_Him, _the cause of everything.

_Him, _the reason why he was hated by the others.

That was the first time he felt such hatred towards his imposter.

Sure, he hated his imposter all along.

But nothing was worst then witnessing your friends slowly leaving you behind when they find out you're not as perfect as they thought you were.

That was the worst feeling ever.

.

_12th March, 20XX_

_Dear Diary,_

_They are ignoring me. _

_I know it well._

_They are erasing my existence from their lifes._

_"You're not Allen. Allen always smile. Allen does everything perfectly, unlike you." They told me.  
_

_But I AM Allen._

_I AM the real Allen. Why can't they see it?_

_Why is everyone judging people by looking at their appearance and start imagining how they act like?_

_When they don't act like how people think they will act, they will be forgotten._

_Is this the real face of the human society?_

_Is this the ugly truth about humans?_

_If so,  
_

_What is the purpose of living in this world?_

_Why must we live to impress people?_

_Say, if I start my plan now, any erase _his _existence once and for all, will I feel better?_

_All I need to do is to over take _his _conscious._

_Oh, wait._

_Before that..._

_Should I erase those "friends" of mine?_

_Hm..._

_I really should._

_Guess that's all for today, dear diary._

_-Allen Walker_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

**_TBC_**

* * *

**_Author's Note : Thank you for reading this chapter~~~~~~ This chapter is mainly about Allen and evil Allen's past... So... Yeah... (you know...)  
_**

**_A~~~~nyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and~~~~~~_**

**_Review? please?_**


	19. Chapter 18 - Neutral

_**Thanks a lot, **_**kittylover195678**_** for favourite this fic~~~~!**_

_**And also~~ **_**Guest**_** for reviewing again~~~ ^^**_

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Last time :**_

_**Nothing was worst then witnessing your friends slowly leaving you behind when they find out you're not as perfect as they thought you were.**_

_**That was the worst feeling ever.**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 18 - Neutral  
**_

_**.**_

He saw a light.

A blinding yet warm light.

It was so bright that he had to squint his eyes at the light, yet he felt warm as the light poured onto his body.

He slowly opened his eyes and stared ahead at the beautiful scenery in front of him.

Families having fun together, children playing with each other, couples embracing themselves under the shady tree, friends eating together...

The gentle wind blew softly, a few fallen petals flew past his face. He continued staring ahead.

The sunset, such a beautiful sight.

He silently prayed that the time could freeze, and let him drown himself in the beauty of that particular moment.

Despite he knew that everything will fade away when their time comes to an end.

And yet, he still placed faith in that fragile wish of his.

_Please._

The sky grew dark.

_No. Just a little longer, please. Don't go yet... Please._

He reached his hand out, trying to grab onto something, anything.

So that he could save himself.

He knew, this so-called paradise will disappear anytime.

He knew, that his imposter will snatch everything away from him.

Be it unconsciously or vice versa.

He closed his eyes, trying to enjoy the gentle breeze one last time.

"Allen! Come one, the curfew is at 6.30pm!"

He cursed mentally before allowing his imposter to take over.

"Yes yes. I'm coming right now!" _He _smiled to his friends.

He saw his "friends" smiled back at _him._

It frighten him. The thought of his friends replacing him with his imposter.

Sometimes he wonder if his imposter even realise his existence.

Sometimes, he couldn't help but ask himself,

_Why am I alive? If my imposter can do a better job as "Allen", why am I here? _

He tried not to hate his imposter.

He really tried.

But the hatred was just so deep.

So deep that it blurred up his senses.

Until that fateful day, 12th of March, the hatred he kept deep inside his soul just burst out wildly.

Everything he did after that day...

Sinful.

Unforgivable.

Heartless.

For everything that he did, he should feel guilty. However, surprisingly, he was feeling none of the so-called "guilt".

Everything that he did was just... wrong. He knew it well, but, why wasn't he reacting to that fact?

Or...

Did he even care in the first place?

.

.

.

.

.

It was a beautiful day.

He was with his friends, chatting, laughing...

Everything was perfect.

He thought he had manage to wake up from his nightmare at last.

He was so happy he could cry.

He was so glad that the nightmare about him having an imposter inside of him was not true.

Or at least that was what he thought.

"...ght? It was so funny!"

"Yeah! That was the best ever!"

He smiled softly as he listened to the conversation.

Just then, his sight caught something. He looked down and saw his untied shoelace. Sighing, he bend down and start tying his shoelace.

When he was done, he stood up and saw his friends walking in front of him.

They didn't seem to notice that Allen did not catch up with them.

Panic slowly rose from his insides.

_Maybe they were just too caught up in the topic they were talking about?_ He convinced himself.

"Guys!" He called out to them, hoping them to stop in their tracks and wait for him to catch up.

But they just continue walking forward, ignoring his calls.

"Guys, wait up! Hey guys!" He shouted. He was scared. Why couldn't anyone hear him?

"GUUUUYYYYYSSSS!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

But his cries were left unheard.

He felt his limbs paralysed. He looked down at his body and saw thorny stems surrouding his body, holding him firmly at that position. He struggled against the stems, yet those deadly thorns cut through his skin, leaving tons of red lines on his body.

"GUUUUUYYYYYSSS! LOOK BACK! I'M HEEEEERRRRREEEE!" He cried out again.

Again and again, his cries were ignored.

He breathed in a deep breath, wanting to scream even louder-

Wait, was that...

His eyes widen as he saw _him _with his friends.

Panic overcome his senses as the truth hit him hard.

He was left alone.

All because of _him_.

_Him, _the cause of everything.

_Him, _the reason why he was hated by the others.

He bit his lips hard, causing his own lips to bleed.

"DAMN YOU, IMPOSTER! DAMN YOU!" He cried again, this time, however, his cries were directed to his imposter.

He didn't want to see this.

Not like this.

He knew, his friends prefer _him _over Allen himself all along.

He knew that long ago.

But he didn't want to witness it with his own eyes.

It hurts to know the truth.

It hurts to know,

That he was a complete failure compared to his imposter.

.

.

.

.

.

"...I hate my life..." He mumbled to himself in that dark space.

He just woke up from his nightmare.

To be more precise, the nightmare where he witness his friends choosing _him _over him.

He slowly buried his head in his knee.

He didn't realise he was crying until he felt a sudden coldness on his knee.

His petite frame trembled in fear as he tried his best to suppress his sobs.

He shouldn't cry, he know.

But he was afraid.

What if he will disappear completely one day?

Sure, "Allen Walker" will not disappear, since his imposter will take over his conscious by then.

But what will happen to him?

Will he just disappear into nothingness?

Or will he just remain as a soul?

Both thoughts scared him.

He buried his head deeper into his knees.

He wanted a new start.

A new start where people can accept both him and his imposter.

An outrageous wish.

Yet, he really wish this wish could come true.

If he end everything right then, could he earn a new start?

He slowly raised his head up as he stared at the moon through his window.

"A new start, huh...?"

He made up his mind.

He will create a new start for both him and his imposter,

Even though he knew he must end everything he have.

Every single thing.

He will do it.

He will end it all.

If a story must consists of a hero and a villain, let him be the villain then.

If that means that he could run away from his pain,

What's wrong with being the villain?

He will end it all.

He will.

...

..

.

Even it if it means he had to slaughter everyone he knew and start a new life in a place where no one know him.

.

.

.

.

.

* * *

.

You live in this world with a borrowed time from God.

Don't regret something only when it's too late.

For time is irreversible.

Make your life useful and live your life to the fullest.

For you shall never get these borrowed time again in the future once you return them to God.

.

* * *

_**TBC**_

_**Author's Note : This chapter is all about Evil Allen. Even though everyone called him "evil Allen" but he's not really evil. It's just his way of thinking and his way of doing things that make us think he is evil. Everyone is good in my opinion. Everyone have their bad side. It is just a matter of balanced light and darkness in one self. (...if you get what I mean...)**_

_**Well, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too~~!**_

_**Er...Reviews?**_


	20. Chapter 19 - Realiti Yang Menyedihkan

_**Thanks a lot, **_**MidoriHikari00 ****_for favourite this fic and me~~~~ ^^_**

**_Disclaimer : I don't own -Man_**

**_._**

* * *

**_._**

**_Last time :_**

_**He will create a new start for both him and his imposter,**_

_**If a story must consists of a hero and a villain, let him be the villain then.**_

_**If that means that he could run away from his pain,**_

_**What's wrong with being the villain?**_

_**He will end it all.**_

_**He will.**_

_**.**_

_**Even it if it means he had to slaughter everyone he knew and start a new life in a place where no one know him.**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 19 -Realiti Yang Menyedihkan  
**_

_**.**_

Days passed.

But Allen still did not wake up.

Even doctors could not explain why couldn't Allen wake up.

Kanda was worried.

Everyday, Kanda prayed to God. He wished Allen could wake up soon. He visited Allen everyday, without fail. He wanted to see Allen recovering, even if he was not waking up. But everyday when he stepped into the room, those that entered his vision made his stoned heart shattered to pieces.

Allen still laid there, his face paler as day passed.

Instead of recovering, Allen's condition worsen.

Sometimes, he entered the room and saw Allen screaming in agony, tears gathered at the corner of his eyes. He felt relieved and worried when it happened. Worried because he could see that Allen was suffering, relieved because he thought that Allen woke up.

But when he calmed Allen down, he realised that Allen was still lost in his dreamland.

Why won't Allen wake up?

Why did Allen choose to wander in his dreamland?

Why did Allen choose to wander in his nightmare?

Why?

Why did he choose to suffer in his dreamland than to wake up?

It was a mystery Kanda could not solve.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

**...The...book...**

His eyes snapped open as he heard that voice. It sounded so much like Allen...

He turned around to see if it was Allen who said that.

But Allen still remained motionless on the bed.

**...The...book...**

The voice repeated.

His eyes slowly fell on the book on the table.

It was the book that Lavi gave him.

It was the useless book that contained nothing but bullshit.

At that thought, he started glaring at the book, silently hoping it to burn down by itself.

**...Read...it...**

Read it?

And what?

Be impressed by it?

Like a stupid _well-written _fairy tale is _that_ intersting.

His glare harder at the book, almost as if he was pushing the blame on to a non-living thing.

**...Backwards...**

Huh?

**...Read...it...backward...**

He grabbed the book and try flipping it backward.

It was then he saw something that was different from the front pages.

It was a diary.

A normal diary.

A normal diary that told a sad story.

_Why did the baka usagi gave me a diary?_

He then saw the name of the owner of the book.

His eyes widen slightly as his mind registered the name.

.

_Allen Walker._

.

.

.

.

.

"What is the meaning of this!?"

Lavi flinched at the loudness of his friend's voice.

To say that he was scared was a understatement. He never see Kanda Yuu that mad before.

It was just like witnessing the birth of the demon lord.

He gulped.

"What do you mean?" He asked slowly.

"This!" Kanda threw the diary to Lavi.

Lavi caught the book and stared at it a while.

"...I... I gave you the wrong book! I was trying to give you a book about how to manage your anger!" Lavi lied, silently hoping that Kanda would buy the lie.

"How did you get it?"

"Huh?"

"How did you get his diary?"

Lavi's eyes widen.

_Yuu...Read it? _

_No. _

_There's no way he knew the correct way to read it! It even took me days to figure out the real sequence of the pages!_

_How-_

"Answer me!" Lavi's thoughts were interrupted by Kanda's yell.

_Fine._

_Since he read it, he is now officially involved._

_He have the right to know._

"...Tell me, Yuu. What can you understand from the book?"

Kanda lifted him up by the collar and strangled him.

"Answer. Me." He said.

"Answer..me...and I'll answer yours..." Lavi tried his best to speak.

Kanda che'd before releasing his grip.

Lavi coughed a little, regaining his breath before asking Kanda,

"What do you think the writer of the diary is trying to tell?"

"...That he is living a sad life."

"More detail."

"He was living in a life of insecure. He was afraid of his 'imposter' or something would take over his conscious someday. However, some entry was written by a confused mind version of him. It was as if, there was someone else writing the diary aside from him."

"The confused mind version of him is the 'imposter' of this writer. The 'imposter' did not realise the existence of the original 'Allen' living in him all along. He unconsciously messed up the life of the original 'Allen'. It was okay at the beginning, it was the reason why the original did not do anything to erase the existence of the 'imposter' at the beginning. " Lavi explained slowly.

Lavi raised his head to look at Kanda's expression.

He saw Kanda narrow his eyes before said,

"Lavi, tell me everything."

.

.

.

.

.

_Stop this!_

He could hear his imposter screaming from the inside.

Stop?

Why should he?

After all these, both him and his imposter will get to live a better life somewhere else.

Somewhere that people could accept both him and his imposter's real nature.

That way, they both could continue living in this cruel world without worrying about accidentally took over each other's conscious.

It was the best, wasn't it?

As long as he end everything he had here and start a new life somewhere...

It will be perfect, wouldn't it?

_Please! Stop! I'm begging you!_

Another slash.

"Stop this! What are you doing, Allen?!"

A scream.

"STOP ALREADY!"

Red.

"Ha...HahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!" He laughed at the scene in front of his eyes.

Red.

Everywhere was red.

_Stop... this... Please..._

He heard sobs from his insides. Was his imposter crying?

Over them?

Over those so-called friends that abandon them both?

Those that treated him like shit?

He couldn't understand.

Why did his imposter crying over those... those...

Wait.

His mind clicked as he found out the reason why his imposter was crying.

He was just trying to fix their imperfect life.

That was his main objective, right?

What have he done?

Why was he killing everyone?

He could just move to another town and start a new life. So why was he killing people?

He panicked.

He tried to stop his body, yet his body refused to accept his order.

**No... At this rate I will lose control.**

He once heard that one will lost their mind when they drowned themselves in the sea of sins.

The sea of the seven sins.

He knew that he was envy of his imposter.

But surely it wasn't that deep, right?

So... What was he doing?

Why was he killing people?!

Was he losing his mind?

He saw a man beside him. He felt his hopes rises in him.

"...Bookman." He said to the man.

The man looked shocked and stared at him in fear.

"...Remember my name... We might meet again in the future..."

He pushed his diary that he brought with him everyday towards Bookman before raised his knife high in the air.

He saw Bookman stared at him in fear.

He chuckled bitterly.

**...Please... Don't let me lose control again in the future.**

Those words did not escape from his mouth.

For he had brought the knife down straight to his heart in a quick motion.

He knew he won't die from that.

He knew that when he wake up in the future, both him and his imposter will suffer slight memory loss about each other's existence.

Oh, wait, he would be the only one suffering memory loss...

His imposter never realised his existence all along.

He felt his body dropped to the ground.

Before breathing his last breath, he softly whispered to no one :

"Save us..."

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_**TBC**_

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_**A/N : The title is in Malay. It can be translated as "The Sad Reality" or "The Heartbreaking Reality". Okay guys... I'm gonna have mid term exam 2 weeks later so I might be MIA for a while... (My exam is two and a half week long...) I'll try to write one more chapter next week if I can touch my laptop... So... erm... that's all? Hope you guys enjoy this chapter too~~~~~  
**_

_**Reviews please?**_


	21. Chapter 20 - Missing

_**Thank you so much, **_**MidoriHikari00 ****_for reviewing~~~~ It made me sooooo happy~~~~_**

**_And yeah, kinda agree with you... Allen ALWAYS suffer... (be it in fanfictions, anime or the manga... Poor him)_**

**_Okay, lets get on with the story, shall we?_**

**_Disclaimer : I don't own -Man_**

**_._**

* * *

**_._**

**_Last time :_**

_**He felt his body dropped to the ground.**_

_**Before breathing his last breath, he softly whispered to no one :**_

_**"Save us..."**_

_**.**_

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_**.**_

_**Chapter 20 -Missing**_

_**.**_

Lavi was getting scared as time passed.

His best friend looked ten times scarier than usual after listening to Allen's story.

"...What should I do?" Those words lingered in the air, breaking the previous silent atmosphere.

How should answer that question?

How should they do to save Allen?

Hell, even he didn't know what they can do.

If it was just dealing with the "Allen" that wrote those entry, it would be way easier. They just need to accept the real Allen and the Allen they know now in their life. It was that simple.

That way, both Allen could stay alive.

That way, none of them will be erased from this world.

That way, everyone will get the happy ending.

It was the best, wasn't it?

So why was the Lord so cruel to Allen?

Why must the real Allen lost his memories and never gained it back?

Why must the real Allen drowned himself in the sea of envy and went into the land of madness?

Why must Lord choose Allen as His sacrifice,

Just for entertainment?

_RING!_

Lavi sighed heavily as he stood up, answering the phone.

Kanda leaned back onto the sofa, trying his best to digest everything he just learned.

He felt hopeless in Allen's situation. What could he do to save Allen?

He slowly closed his eyelids and breathed out a deep sigh.

It was then he picked up some lines from Lavi's panic voice.

"Wh-what?"

The other end of the line said something.

"But that is impossible! How-"

More noises could be heard from the other end of the line.

"But- Hey! Hello? Hello?!"

Lavi yelled to the phone with all his might.

After seems like hours to Kanda, he saw Lavi walking towards his direction with a worried face.

"What hap-"

"Allen is missing."

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_**A/N : I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THIS SHORT CHAPTER! I'LL WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER LONGER, I SWEAR! (I'll be MIA for a month though...) Its OKAY! I'll write it after my mid-terms and...and... ...**_

_**Er...**_

_**Review?**_


	22. Chapter 21 - From Bad To Worse

_**Thanks a lot for the review, **_**MidoriHikari00 ^^  
**

**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**

**_._**

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**_._**

**_Last time :_**

_**He saw Lavi walking towards his direction with a worried face.**_

_**"What hap-"**_

_**"Allen is missing."**_

_**.**_

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_**.**_

_**Chapter 21 -From bad to worse  
**_

_**.**_

He was hearing voices.

**Wake up**,it said.

But he was awake, wasn't he?

**Wake up and stop me!**

He did not get it. Why is it asking him to wake up when he was already wide awake?

**I'm losing myself! STOP ME ALREADY!**

He shut his eyes tighter, trying his best to block out all the screams that was threatening to enter his ear.

**STOP ME BEFORE I KILL SOMEONE! WAKE UP ALREADY!**

His breathing slowly turned into breathless gasp. He found it hard to breath out of a sudden.

.

_******That wannabe samurai of yours is now officially involved in this** **game,**** dear imposter of mine.**_

_******.**_

He snapped his eyes open in fear, body trembling in fear. He breathed in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. _I need to get away. No. I must leave this place. _His eyes traveled in panic motion before stopping at the sight of the door. He jumped off the bed and ran towards the door in his fastest speed. He heard panic voices shouting his name, he could even felt arms surrounding his hand, pulling him back to the room.

He was afraid.

Those arms... They reminded him of something he fear.

Something that he saw in his memories.

Something that pulled him down to the ground tightly as he watched his world tore apart.

Something that seems to scream nothing but loneliness and sadness as he felt them pulling him back to his room against his will.

He struggled against those arms. Yet, every time he managed to shake one of it off, another one just find its way back to his hand._  
_

**Yes. Struggle, dear imposter of mine. Shall I remind you that the game is still on?**

His eyes widen at the presence of that voice. He searched his surrounding and saw his own reflection at the window. He screamed, alerting the person who was trying to pull him back to his room. Allen felt the grip on his hand loosen and he took advantage of that. He ran and ran until he ran out of the building.

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"He ran out! Damn..."

"Maybe we should just tell the doctor-"

"And what? Told him that we saw the patient ran out and we did nothing to STOP him?"

"We did try to stop him!"

"Did we succeed, hm?"

"...No."

"Correct, so listen to me. Just act like nothing happen and let the doctor notice the patient's absent by his own."

"But that's not right!"

"Either we do this or we lost our job! Don't forget that both of us just received another warning letter this morning!"

"..."

"Are you with me?"

"...Yes."

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"Where is the patient?!"

"We don't know! He was here when I came in to take his temperature!"

"Mary, Rose, did any of you saw the patient?!"

"N-no, doctor!" Rose spoke nervously.

"She was with me the whole evening and we did not see this patient!" Mary secretly held Rose's hand tightly, calming her friend down. She knew that if Rose accidentally said that they WERE the one who fail to stop a patient from escaping, they will both lose their job. They really need their job.

And that patient?

They can only hope that he is still safe outside the hospital. It was 8 at night when the patient ran out. And it was then... 12 in the afternoon when the doctor found out about the absent of that patient.

"...Inform his family members or friends about this." the doctor said after a while and turned away from them.

Mary took the phone to her ear and dialed the contact number for the patient's friend. She saw Rose fidgeting beside her, causing her herself to get panic as well.

"Hello?" the other line of the phone said.

She breathed in a deep breath before announcing the news.

"I'm sorry to inform you this. Allen Walker is missing."

She could hear the panic voice from the other side of the line. She felt bad for doing this but what else can she do? Losing her job just for a patient?

Uh-hu. That, is something she will avoid at all cost.

.

If only she knew,

That mistake she and Rose made will affect the patient's lifespan.

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_**TBC**_

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_**A/N : I'm so so so so so sorry! This chapter is short I know... But I can't really write anything now! I'm so sorry! Please review?  
**_


	23. Chapter 22 - The End

_**Chapter 22 - The End  
**_

The sky was growing dark.

How long had he been running? An hour? Or was it more than that?

He did not know.

All he want was to run away from that place.

Away from this place.

Away from everyone he knew.

_Away from Kanda._

Tears flowed down his cheek as he smiled a bitter smile to no one.

_I should have known... the starting of those dreams are the starting of my nightmare, _he thought to himself.

Thunder growled loudly, breaking the silence of the night. Allen slowed his pace down and stared at the sky above him.

_Ah ah, it's gonna-_

He could feel the cold rain poured down on him.

**_Are you crying for me too, Oh mighty Lord? Are you pitying me? If so... Why?_**

It was just like a repetition of what happened in the past.

However this time, he is the one who felt the pain of being alone.

_It's okay... As soon as I leave this place, no one will get hurt anymore..._, he tried to convince himself as he continued his pace.

**Such foolish act. **

Allen stopped his pace as he heard that voice.

**He read our diary. He is officially involved in this game. So, why run when you can't change the future?**

"...I..."

**Those that read our diary are not allowed to live, unless this game ends. You know that, right? **

Not trusting his voice, Allen just nodded.

**He will die anyway so why are you running away?**

Allen bit his mouth slightly.

**What are you planning, dear imposter of mine?**

"...Hey, the one who win this game can live on while the one who lost will just disappear, right?"

His reflection glared at him suspiciously before answered, **You are right.**

"So... what if I tell you that I want to end this game right here right now?"

He saw his reflection widen his eyes as he caught the meaning of those words.

**No way... You!  
**

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"Damn it, gramps! We really need to get out!" Lavi shouted as he banged at his door.

He was locked up.

Again.

You must be wondering why did Lavi said "we". The answer is easy. This is because, the great Kanda Yuu is with him, inside the locked room.

"OLD MAN, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW!" Kanda yelled as he started glared at the door.

"You are not leaving this room." Bookman's stern voice could be heard from the other side of the door.

"Gramps, we really need to go out! Allen is missing! We need to get him back-"

"I told the both of you to get away from Allen Walker, did I not?"

Lavi swallowed hard.

"Well, it's okay now anyway. Since the game is coming to its end... I'll release the both of you when it ends." Bookman said before starting to walk away from the door.

"WAIT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE GAME IS COMING TO IT'S END?! HOW ABOUT THAT DAMN MOYASHI?!" Kanda yelled to the door while Lavi just stood there, horrified at his grandfather's words.

"...Gramps, you were the one who brought that book back. You were there when you saw Allen trying to 'end his world' in the past... Tell us, what did you see?"

Bookman stopped his steps, but he did not say anything.

"...Gramps, please. Tell us."

"...Before Allen Walker died, he was begging for salvation."

"What...? So Allen knew-"

"Not him. The other Allen."

Kanda and Lavi widen their eyes in shock as they drink in the information.

Without waiting for their reply, Bookman continued,

"He knew he was losing control. He plead me to stop him if he ever lose control in the future. But it seems like, the 'Allen' the both of you knew found out about this."

"So... You mean..."

"He is going to end it. This foolish game. Without dragging any innocent ones with him. Surely you can guess what is he planning to do?"

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**You, You're sick! **

The once mocking voice, was surprisingly sounded worried for the first time.

The rain continued pouring.

"...This... is the best, isn't it? You get to take over this body and Kanda... Kanda can stay alive." It was hard for him to speak, he realized.

**I don't want this! I don't want to gain control of this, this body this way!**

"...Then how do you wish to gain it? Kill someone again? I'm sorry, but I can't allow that."

The once colorless rain water on the floor were slowly stained crimson.

He could see his reflection panicking.

**How about that wannabe samurai? Aren't you worried that I'll do something bad to him if I gain control?!**

It was a lie, of course. He could see it in his reflection's eyes.

"...I'm scared. I'm scared that you will harm Kanda. That's why I ran away."

**You... You coward!**

"Hey, can you promise me something?" Allen asked his reflection.

"Can you promise me that once you gain control, you'll let Kanda live? The game ended anyway. Spare his life, will you? I don't care what you do to this body, just... don't hurt...him..."

And his vision turned black.

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_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

_**A/N : Aaaaa~~~ This story is finally ending. (Phew, I'm glad I can finish this story. I was soooo worried I'll give up on this story!) There will be an epilogue so stay tune~~~~~ Thank you so much, people that is STILL reading this story. Thank you so much for the undying support you guys gave me~~~ (And getting along with my typos... ^^"" ) I think I'll rewrite this story in a better grammar and fix those typos in the future. **_

_**Once again, thank you so much for supporting me till the end~!  
**_

_**Love you guys~~! **_

_**.**_

_**Alissa Lee.  
**_


	24. Chapter 23 - Epilogue

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man.**_

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_**.**_

_**Epilogue**_

_**.**_

_~~3 years later~~_

"How's the search?"

Kanda asked as he looked up from his documents.

_Tell me you found something. Tell me you found something. Tell me you found something..._

He repeated that sentence again and again in his mind, just like a mantra.

He had searched for a certain someone since 3 years ago. 3 years ago when Bookman finally let them out from the locked room. The first thing he did when he come out from the room was running everywhere he knew, silently hoping that he could find _him_ before anything bad happened. He ran as fast as he could. Even when he knew his legs were giving up on him, he still continued his search. But he could not find _him _anywhere.

Since then, Lavi had helped him in tracking down _his _location.

He stared at Lavi, hope were visible in his eyes. He wanted Lavi to tell him that he found something. Anything. A location, a news, anything. Anything will do.

_He just need to know _he _is still alive in this world._

He saw Lavi sighed before shaking his head slightly. Hope slowly left his eyes as he drank in what Lavi tried to inform him. He slowly turned to his documents and continue reading. However, the content was ignored as he read them. What was the document saying, it was none of this business. All he need to do is read them and that's it. What really matters to him is, the result of the search. They had been searching for years. Why couldn't they find anything?

He_ might be dead-_

He bit his lips as he tried to push the negative thoughts away from his mind.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Lavi staring at him.

"...Yuu, maybe we should just give up."

He could no longer find the strength to yell at Lavi for using his first name anymore. Or should I say, he just didn't care anymore?

"...Come on, cheer up! Just... just think of how fun it will be when we reach England tomorrow night!" Lavi tried to cheer him up.

He and Lavi both managed to score excellent grade to the extent that they were both invited to attend a university in England. For a normal student, he or she will be really excited about this news. But to him, this news is not really appealing.

Sighing softly, he started packing his things as he chased Lavi out of his room.

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"Here are the two new students. Kanda Yuu and Lavi Bookman. Be kind to them."

University life started. Kanda and Lavi were both busy with their studies until they forgot about the search. And soon, they both slowly forgot who they were suppose to find. What is the person's gender? A guy? A girl? The name? They couldn't remember a thing. They just knew that something was missing but they did not know what it was. They didn't even realize when the very person they were looking for were just beside them.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Allen Walker."

Allen Walker, the name that rings a bell in both their mind. But they still couldn't remember anything. He looked so familiar, with his white hair, his silvery eyes that shone like stars, his scar... Everything looked so familiar, yet they couldn't remember who that is. Sometimes, Lavi would catch Allen staring at Kanda with a sad smile painted on his face. It was as if Allen was sad but glad at something. Even when Kanda and Allen started dating, Allen would still stared at Kanda with those eyes when he thought no one was looking. He looked like he was guilty of something...

Well, nothing matters, right?

They loved each other.

That's good enough, wasn't it?

"Lavi! We've been waiting for you!" Allen shouted to him.

Snapping awake from his thoughts, he brought out his trade mark smile as he ran towards the black and white pairing.

"Yeah, I'm coming!"

At least everything is fine now.

That, is good enough.

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A black cover diary was left alone in a room. The wind blew softly, turning the pages until it reached a page.

_._

_Dear Diary, _

_I have a premonition of something. But I'm not very sure. _

_Whatever that is, I hope that I can start all over again when all my troubles are gone._

_It will be like forgetting everyone you knew and re-know them again. _

_Haha!__ That sounds interesting! _

___Anyway, dear Diary, I heard that one can make their wish come true if you write down your wishes in your diary.  
_

___Okay, Lets try!_

___I wish, my loved ones will be protected at all cost. (Includes my life)_

___I wish, my loved ones will be happy forever, even when I'm no longer there._

___I wish, that this game will end with no innocent people dragged into it._

___.  
_

A blurry figure was standing beside the book, staring at the page.

"...You get what you wished for. Are you happy, 'Allen'?"

The figure smiled to himself before disappearing into thin air.

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Allen was standing at the balcony, staring at the stars. It was then he saw a meteor. He remembered, he was "born" when the previous "Allen" wished upon a meteor. he smiled a bitter smile to no one and muttered softly, "I'll be your replacement and fulfill your wishes, 'Allen'."

"Moyashi, what are you doing outside? You'll catch a cold, come back in."

Allen nodded and head back in.

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.  
**_

_**END**_

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_**A/N : Thank you soooooo much, people that reviewed in the last chapter~~~~ so, yeah, this is the epilogue. Hope you guys enjoy it too~~~~ Jaa~~  
**_


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